Breaking up after a shaky relationship, and want it to stay that way?

I have been with my girlfriend for over a year and a half. She is a recovered drug addict (that i know of) who was in a pointless marriage for a long time. In the 1.5 years, she has cheated on me at least once that i know of, talked nasty with several guys over email and the phone, was coordinating and being the point of contact for dealing meth at least twice, once that i know of where she hid the drugs in our apartment, was drinking and driving in my truck while I worked overnights, and who knows what else.

Today, she was fired from her FOURTH job in the time we have been together. While in between jobs, i supported her, and helped take care of her 2 kids. Instead of being an adult and taking whatever job she could, she would wait for a job to fall in her lap. While supporting her, at one point I was in school, working 2 jobs, i maxed out 3 credit cards, and used a lot of my school money to stay afloat.

After i found about her drug dealing involvement. I gave her the ultimatum to put that life behind her, or leave. As far as I know she did just that. She recently [as in the other day] started hanging out with her ex drug buddy, who had sex with her ex husband just to get back at her.

i hate to kick her while she is down, seeing she lost her job, but I am done with her. These are the decisions she made. I just need some advise on how to stay away from taking her back, which will be hard seeing we live together. Tomorrow. I am talking with my land lady seeing what my options are. Thanks


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you stick to your guns then you shouldn't really have a hatd time not taking her back right? What factors could possibly come into play that would have you do otherwise? Do you have any real hard proof you could use against her of any illegal doings and if she was really back with the drug buddy? Anything you could use against her? During your time together you stated dirty talk, cheating, withholding drug paraphernalia, losing 4 jobs and driving drunk... was it all during a specific time frame or was it spead out here and there throughout the entire relationship? How was it that she had that many jobs within that amount of time and did she make u take responsibility of her kids? What made you stay with her in the first place and whats to say that won't occure again since you two are still shacked up together? Have you guys stayed in a continuous relationship or has it been an on and off sort of thing?

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    • Is this the same girlfriend who broke your trust in the very beginning of your relationship? The one with Bipolar who you were just absolutely in love with and who made you feel something like never before because you connected on a different level? Or is this a totally different girlfriend and did i overstep my boundaries with this question?

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    • I don't think i love her anymore. It faded away slowly with all the crap she has done to me

    • You don't think... That doesn't sound like you are sure yourself. Does she know this? Did you actually confront her and talk with her about it? Seems like it needs to be done for both of you so you can better prepare for how or what is next yo come

Most Helpful Guy

  • it's simple pack up your shit and go or pack up her shit and put it on the lawn. i would advise you moving because for 1) her ties to known drug dealers and criminals 2) she "im guessing" has a key to your door so there is nothing stopping her from copying it and coming and going as she pleases 3) even without a key she could make your life shitty knowing where your live she could send her druggy friends over to fuck with your house or car or pets.

    been in your shoes before i cut her out of my life but she would an open wound that would refuse to heal i kicked her out and all of the above happened i had someone kick my door in and steal my shit while i was at work twice my dog beaten, my tires slashed. then her and one of her friends broke in while i was asleep and it took me breaking his leg with a baseball bat and a gash on her forehead for her to leave me the hell alone. "i was swinging in the dark" it was only when i hopped over my bed and grabbed my gun that she flipped on the light... i still wanted to shoot but held them at gunpoint until police showed up she and her friend are in jail and i moved to a new state and life is good. i just wish i would have moved earlier and got her the hell out of my life before it got to that level but that is just my advice.

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What Girls Said 3

  • That's a really tough situation, and I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Struggling with addiction isn't easy and while it's not completely her fault that she has these demons, the choices that she makes are still hers. The best thing you can do is what you're doing now, breaking the cycle. Find out what your options are with your landlord and in the meantime, reach out to friends or family and see if you can stay with them for a while until you can figure out a different and more permanent living situation. See how much you can afford. Then, start to piece your life back together. You've established that this isn't what you want in your life and it seems like you have different goals than your girlfriend. You aren't married so there's still time and options of how to get out. Maybe this will help her see that she needs help for the sake of herself and for her two children. If you see that her children are in danger, consider reporting it to Child Protective Services.

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  • Is she on your lease?

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    • Yep, my landlords are usually cool, so i hope we can work something out.

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    • Easier said then done unfortunately.

    • Always... :/ Good luck to you.

  • I will just leave so you won't have to deal with me. And thanks to talking to me in person like we were suppose to.

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