I have a fear of never falling in love again?

My ex of 3 years and I broke up 5 months ago. I don't even want to try to explain how deep of bruise it left, I was really not myself at all, I was very very hurt and depressed for months. I can say I got over him. At least I think I did because I know for sure that I don't want to be with him anymore and that I don't love him anymore. I forcefully had burry my feelings for him.
I had boyfriends before him. But this was my first serious relationship and I feel like I gave my all in it. Before I met him I was already losing hope of liking anyone, because I am very picky and antisocial. All my past breakups also left a scar on me and I was single for a long time before I met him. Then I fell in love with him, and even that took time to happen. He was trying so hard to get me and he got me in the end. I left my guards down and thought "screw it, I'll do it!". Those 3 years were amazing! I was so happy and thankful that my search has ended and I have found the one. I used to insecure and paranoid in the begining that he is gonna leave just like the rest of them, but he convinced me otherwise. And then in the end, he left like the rest of them. I did nothing wrong, he just lost his feelings.
Well, I feel very empty now. I had so many oportinities to date but I just feel like an empty bottle. There were great and hot guys asking me out and I just rejected them. Not because I didn't like them, but because I feel like I have nothing to give anymore. I am tired of dealing with it again and I am afraid that I will never fall in love again. I feel like the love I had for my ex was the purest thing that can exist, like a fresh born baby. I don't feel like I will ever be able to love like THAT. I wish I could. I will probably eventually "fall in love" again but never the same way. Will I ever love the way I loved my ex? How do I shake off this fear?


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  • We have all felt the way you do now. When we're dumped, most of us feel like we'll never be able to love anyone the way we loved the person who dumped us. We also feel like we won't be able to trust someone again. But these feelings will pass and make room for new, positive feelings. It's only been five months. Don't stress. Give yourself time.

    Also, may I point out that you contradict yourself somewhat? You wrote: "Before I met him I was already losing hope of liking anyone, because I am very picky and antisocial." And then further down you write "I had so many oportinities to date but I just feel like an empty bottle. There were great and hot guys asking me out and I just rejected them. Not because I didn't like them, but because I feel like I have nothing to give anymore." See, there are great and hot guys interested in you, guys that you liked. So there is no reason to give up hope. At the present time you simply need time. You're still healing from the break-up. It's normal. It's actually good to take time and heal after a break-up. Trust me, you will fall in love again. Just don't stress over it. Try to enjoy your life as much as you can, and one day you will be ready for a new relationship, but until then, just concentrate on yourself, your family, your friends, your hobbies and whatever else you like.

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    • Yeah I know. It's not them that I am worried about. I am worried about me, that I won't be able to fully commit and relax. It's like I don't want to because I feel the best on my own.

    • Right now it's good that you want to be single because I personally find it very important for people to take breaks, relax, reflect, etc. after a relationship ends. You know those people who run from one relationship to the next and never find happiness? It's way better to do what you're doing. You WILL again be ready for a relationship. You will be able to commit and want to be with a guy and you will also be able to love again. But right now it's normal that you feel like you can't. Trust me, I've been there (more than once) and now I'm entirely happy with a guy. If you had asked me three years ago, I would have told you I just can't be bothered with men anymore since they wear me down and I can't like anyone anyway.

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