I had boyfriends before him. But this was my first serious relationship and I feel like I gave my all in it. Before I met him I was already losing hope of liking anyone, because I am very picky and antisocial. All my past breakups also left a scar on me and I was single for a long time before I met him. Then I fell in love with him, and even that took time to happen. He was trying so hard to get me and he got me in the end. I left my guards down and thought "screw it, I'll do it!". Those 3 years were amazing! I was so happy and thankful that my search has ended and I have found the one. I used to insecure and paranoid in the begining that he is gonna leave just like the rest of them, but he convinced me otherwise. And then in the end, he left like the rest of them. I did nothing wrong, he just lost his feelings.
Well, I feel very empty now. I had so many oportinities to date but I just feel like an empty bottle. There were great and hot guys asking me out and I just rejected them. Not because I didn't like them, but because I feel like I have nothing to give anymore. I am tired of dealing with it again and I am afraid that I will never fall in love again. I feel like the love I had for my ex was the purest thing that can exist, like a fresh born baby. I don't feel like I will ever be able to love like THAT. I wish I could. I will probably eventually "fall in love" again but never the same way. Will I ever love the way I loved my ex? How do I shake off this fear?