My fiancée said I cheated. Is it cheating or is he wrong?

So my fiancée and I went to his best friends wedding. While there, a friend of his came up to us and my fiancée introduced him to me and asked to be excused to go to the bathroom. While my fiancée was in the bathroom, his friend told me that I was very hot and wondered what I would look like without clothes. At that point I told him that I didn't feel comfortable with what he was saying and excused myself to go get a drink. When I went to get a drink, his friend came back to apologise and I asked him to leave me alone and suddenly he threw himself at me and kissed me. I immediately pushed him away but my fiancée saw.

Now ow he is saying that I cheated on him and wants to break the engagement up. I'm devastated because I didn't
do anything and he won't listen to me. Now I don't know what to do. He wants to break up so should i let him because I do truly love him a lot and don't want to leave him but he won't answer any of my calls and won't talk to me or anything. Any help would be great


0|0
813

Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmmmm. . . first of all you definitely did not cheat. But before figuring out what to do next, I think you need to actually figure out what the hell is happening here. There are at least 3 possibilities:

    1) your fiancée's friend was a drunken douche and he kissed you, and your boyfriend misunderstood what happened and was so shocked he hasn't yet tried to figure out what really happened. If/when he realizes it, he'll see you're not at fault, his friend is an ass and all will be good

    2) Same as above, only your boyfriend somehow holds you responsible and still wants out. In this case he's an ass and you should let him walk

    3) Your fiancé and his friends were working together on this because your fiancé wanted out but was too chickenshit to just break things off on his own so they made up this rouse to come up with a reason to leave.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks for your help!

    • No problem. Best of luck to you!

Most Helpful Girl

  • I find his so-called 'Friend' Not a Friend In need nor One... Indeed. This loser is the One he should be Mad at, Not you. I find him being unfair.
    Text him This here, dear, tell him to point fingers at his Fair weather friend till the end now and Not to put the blame on you who was this Innocent Bystander... Having just tip toed to the Bar to get herself a drink. Too bad he wasn't this fly on the wall so he could have seen the First... Scene with this backstabbing bud.
    However, food for thought because this is just a sample of something that happened to me at my cousin's wedding. Her newly Beloved got a bit frisky and when the bride was away, he planted a huge wet One on my red lips in front of a Handful of 'Bystanders' and it got back to my cousin and from That day Forward... Bob was the good guy but I... was for Not better but for Worse in her eyes... She blamed Me.
    If he is still throwing you a hissy fit and is putting you on his pay no mind list, Give him away and Begin a new Beguine of starting over and considering yourself lucky that you found out now just what kind of partner you have before the honeymoon started maybe a few years down the road.
    Good luck. xx

    0|0
    0|0
    • Could be too knowing that it was his so-called friend who did this, he is feeling too humiliated in front of everyone and he doesn't want to talk to you about his real feelings of it, regardless of what he is telling you and calling you. xx

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • Try to wait until he calms down. I would beat the shit out of his friend if I was there. That's the biggest asshole I've ever heard about. You should definitely get someone that is close to both of you to tell him what happened since he won't listen to you. And get some people that saw it happen to back you up. Honestly I wouldn't even feel bad if you destroy his friends reputation in order for your fiance to get the truth.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Hmm I didn't think about getting someone else to tell him. Thanks I'll try that

  • Your most pressing problem is spelling...

    fiancée is for a woman about to be married

    fiancé is for man about to be married.

    1|0
    3|0
    • Lol yea I realised. My phone autocorrects it to fiancée no matter how you spell it

  • Not if it happened like that. You should've slapped the guy who kissed you though and your boyfriend shouldn't be friends with that guy anymore and beat the shit out of him.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I kinda feel like I should've slapped him but at that moment I was too busy worrying about my fiancée because he seemed pissed.

    • 20/20 vision in hindsight

  • Let him go. He doesn't trust you. Who needs that? It's lucky you found out before you married him. You are much better off without him. Find a guy who loves you and trusts you.

    0|0
    1|0
    • lol. I want to see you trusting your girl when you see her being kissed by another guy. that's a fkin shock.

    • Show All
    • He doesn't seem to be too concerned about letting a misunderstanding destroy whatever thing you had. Maybe it's the best thing you've had so far, but it doesn't sound all the good to me. How many things have you had so far? You can do a lot better than some guy who doesn't trust you. If you get back together, he'll just do the same to you again over some other guy.

    • It's entirely possible that the guy who kissed you would be way better than your ex-fiance. Maybe you should give him a chance.

  • No he is wrong and his friend is an asshole. Tell him what really happened and if he doesn't believe you, then he never really trusted you and is doing you a favor by showing his true colors now.

    2|0
    0|0
    • The best divorce is the one you didn't have to get right?

    • I guess you have a point. The problem is be won't speak to me so I don't know how to tell him the truth

  • Your fiancee has bad judgment and has bad friends.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Wow... no trust.

    If this is the actual case, that is.

    Assuming you are right, he needs to realize that the modern man (and most women) have been raised by the media to be immoral, soulless pieces of shit with about the self control and temperament of newborn baboon.

    0|0
    0|0
  • witnesses. you need some

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, you didn't cheat.

    0|0
    0|0
  • As per what i read here you are not wrong but if he is ignoring you his friend should tell him that it was his fault, he will understand then, i think

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yea but his friend doesn't want to fix it.

    • That is idiotic act, if he was his real friend he would have felt bad for causing that mess, anyway go to him directly and tell him what really happened.

  • No. You did nothing wrong. You were sexually assaulted and should kick the guy who did it in the nuts

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sooo... your fianceé seems to be insecure/jealous... Cheating is something different ;-)

    1|0
    0|0
    • Yea but now he wants to break up and won't listen to him when I try to tell him it's not my fault. I don't know how to resolve this

What Girls Said 7

  • No you didn't cheat, this guy basically forced himself onto you and ignored your requests for him to stop.

    I can see where your fiance is coming from, as he only saw the kiss and not everything prior to it happening. Though if it was unwanted kiss, he shouldve picked up on your body language. It really sounds like your fiance is having trust issues and possibly looking for a way out or he's just incredibly upset about everything.

    I suppose you can give him some time to process everything and then try reaching out to him again. Hopefully your fiance sees what kind of friend he has and comes back around. If not, then at least you know in your heart and conscience that you did nothing wrong and that he's missing out on a great girl.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thank you. I think I should give him time to process everything and then see how it goes

  • no its not called cheating!!! his friend messed up by trying to kiss you... i think you should try to tell him that its not your fault... but his friend's

    1|0
    0|0
    • I'm trying to tell him it's not my fault but he won't pick up my calls and his stayinf at his friends house who won't let me see him

  • He is wrong. how is it cheating? you excused yourself, you pushed the guy, you told him you were uncomfortable.
    I'd be so frustrated if I were you and I loved my fiancee cuz if he doesn't trust me and won't even at least listen and make sure whether I did cheat or not, how am I gonna live with him!

    You did nothing wrong.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I am frustrated but I care for him too much. I don't want to lose him over a misunderstanding

  • Girl this sounds like a set up. I'm sorry to say this but I think your fiancé may asked his friend to do this on porpuse. Maybe he got cold feet and instead of just being straight forward and say it he blames it on you so you will look bad not him... I would forget about him and move on...

    0|0
    0|0
  • If this is how it happened and you didn't leave anything out and didn't change the story, then of course you did not cheat.

    If he doesn't answer your calls send him an email. Very few people can resist reading emails. Explain to him what happened and then the ball is in his court. I'd send the email and then I'd just wait. If you're telling us the truth, he is overreacting like crazy and you shouldn't be chasing him if he's so immature that he just ignores you and won't even hear your side of the story.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm definitely telling the truth. I wouldn't do that to my fiancé, he means a lot. But thank you, I can't believe I didn't think to send him an email. I'll do that

    • No problem, and good luck. I'm sure he'll be in touch eventually. It's highly unlikely he will just disappear for good. But honestly, don't flood him with your messages because he's the one who's handling the situation immaturely and he's the one who should be apologising to you.

  • No of course you didn't cheat? Your fiancé needs to stop being such a little pussy, tell the dude to man the fuck up, or you'll dump HIS pathetic ass.

    0|0
    0|0
    • But I really care for him and don't want a misunderstanding to destroy what we had

    • HE is destroying what you had, HE is showing he doesn't care.

  • If it happened as you described no you did not cheat on him. He is jealous another guy touched you but... well does he think the victim of sexual assault is at fault?

    0|0
    0|0
    • But I don't know what to do now. I mean he wants to break the engagement up

    • Show All
    • Well I wish you best of luck and thanks once again

    • Thanks, I also wish you all the best :-)

Loading...