After a confusing date with my ex, I need some enlightenment?

After being broken up for 2 months my ex and I decided to get coffee and see how each other is doing. Things were very comfortable and casual. We sat and talked for about an hour. We have both moved back to the same graduate school and he said he wanted to show each other our apartments. I didn't think it was a big deal because friends do that and that's what we are trying to be. We layed on both his bed and his futon. No big deal, nothing happened. Then I showed him my apartment and when we layed on my bed we started to talk about us. I told him how I was feeling, that I do want to get back together someday, that I do want to take things slow, that I don't want the old relationship but a new one with him, I apologized for all that I did wrong, and while we were broken up I worked on my value and the areas on concern I contribuated to the relationship.

He was all over the place. He said he can't go through what he did before. Meaningless fights over and over again. He doesn't see us dating after remembering those fights. That this is the first time we've seen each other in a long time and can't make a decision after seeing each other only one time. He can promise a 100% friendship. He has to be fair to me. We hugged on my bed and he kissed me on the cheek. He told me he really cares about me (more than a friend) but we can't act on sex, I'll expect something he doesn't know he can ever give. He said if it's something he could consider it would take a lot of time seeing that things would be better because he is really scared of what happened before and he is begininng his doctorate. During us talking both of us got teary eyed. Words/Actions are confusuing. We hung out for 5 hours when it was just suppose to be 1/2 hour to get coffee. I don't know.


0|0
21

Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, I don't find him very confusing at all. He still has feelings for you but he knows he couldn't go back to the same relationship with meaningless fights because it would require too much of his energy and he's not willing to do that. He knows he has a stressful time ahead with his doctorate and he knows that being in an unhealthy relationship would cause him a lot of stress and he wants to avoid that. He wants to spend time with you (as friends, for now) to see how it is, if you still fight or if things have changed.
    He very obviously still likes/loves you. He is into you. He wants to be with you, but he knows that he wouldn't be able to stay with you if the relationship followed the same patterns it did previously. So if you're interested in him, be patient, show him that you changed (I assume you're not the only one to blame for the fights though) and show him that you're a positive contribution to his life and not a source of stress.

    1|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Rekindling old flames are more tricky that when the relationship was brand new. Both parties have a preconceived notion of how the other persons personality is. If one actually does improve on themselves by what ever means they feel is beneficial to the relationship that's great , but it could take time for the other to believe thaws changes are in fact real

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • He seems to care about you, but he is confused and indecisive. Personally , i wouldn't wait for him, move on with your life and if he is meant to be in it, he'll catch up. Sometimes you have to accept , some people can stay in your heart but not in your life 😊💜

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...