Why do you still love someone who treated you bad?

Just curious and would like people's views.
How can you still love a person who has done so many bad things to you?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think everyone has their own reasons but I stayed in bad relationships because I didn't want to give up. I fealt like walking away was telling the other person they weren't good enough. I fealt like walking away was saying I wasn't good enough to fix things either. I just couldn't handle the idea of giving up. Once I realized that being compassionate included onesself it was easier for me to realize I was better off living a healthier life and showing this same type of tenacity and compassion from a healthy place than dwelling in a unhealthy place trying to pull someone up with me. I stopped holding on to those that fall and started throwing down ropes ladders that they could use if they wanted too. I guess I realized I should take on helping others with their problems because I want to and not because I had too it let me act a little more selfishly and take care of myself without feeling guilty. These days I've learned to love people because I understand that we all want the same thing an end to suffering, I know not everyone knows the best ways of getting there so it's easy to forgive people's short comings but I also understand our own personal responsibility for our own lives and I know no matter how much I help the majority of the work in their life has to be done by them and they're not my responsibility.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was actually in this situation recently. I was friends with a guy for several years, he was there when nobody else was so I felt like I NEEDED him to stay around, and I recently decided to cut him loose.

    I recently read a book that said "It's not the bad memories that tear a person apart. It's the good ones"

    I think that's true. Because he was nice to me for a long time before he was a bad. My mind didn't register "oh this guy is actually really bad for you, you need to leave" so I didn't for the longest time.

    But that's just what I think. Could be wrong.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 11

  • *sigh* because "True love" is unconditional. It's annoying & and it sucks like hell. Why? Because it can be like self torture sometimes. A person can outright, be the most evil person on the planet, but true love allows you to "Believe" and "see" the good in them. What they once were or could be "in your eyes". Love is weird and toxic. I love a girl who is "evil incarnate" like srsly evil haha... why? Cause kapakanis love is unconditional.(kill me now):

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  • Well, because I think the person remembers the good moments, the sweet memories that was shared with the other, even though they are no longer together, they may not even want to see each other's faces but still they would love the other person because they remember the moments when they were treated well, they remember the moments when they were utmost respected. Especially a woman will surely remember the good moments

    They don't remember the bad moments or the fights, arguments and that's the reason you will still remember the other person and will love them.

    I think this could be a reason.

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  • People who still love someone who treated them badly is cause they are
    insecure , afraid to give their heart to a knew person, has low self esteem
    that no one new will love them , It's not all true there is lot more fish in the sea
    to pick from yes it's sad, You can forgive someone from bad things they did
    but you never forget what they did. My theory is to move on with life and
    find someone new but don't be in a hurry ,

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  • She isn't exactly bad to me she just doesn't care about me but love is still love no one can change it.

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  • It would have something to do with how long we've been together or what kind of relationship we have

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  • There comes a point where the loving stops

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  • Simple because you loved them.

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  • Yeah i did this... It is wrong; we must delete these kinds of people from our heart...

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  • Sum silly naive mudda efforts. I'd dump them in an instant '-'

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  • Because we love the person, not their actions.

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  • why would i love them 😒

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What Girls Said 20

  • Love is blind. From my experience with that, in hindsight you look back on the relationship and realize you were in love with the idea you had build up of what this person was like, not them in reality. You remain in this toxic relationship because the excuses for their behaviour are endless, as you don't want to let go of this ideal vision of them.

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  • I honestly think it's because people are still in love with the person they originally fell in love with (aka the person that your lover tries to be in the beginning in order to win you over) that they become blind to the fact that the person is no longer who they thought they were.

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  • I have, but over time the love faded and I am glad because you know how you should be treated especially when someone else comes along and treats you well. You will always have a place for that someone but it depends, for example I will always have a place for my ex who yes did treat me badly, but I do remember the good times more or less. x

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  • Because we are stuck in the past when they use to treat us good. And we want more of that.

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  • I ask myself that every day. My best friend treats me like shit a lot, such as right now, but I can't hate him. :/ Same with my dad.

    I don't know why I still love them, but I just can't find it in my heart to truly hate them.

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  • It's because were too engrossed in our ideal love that it's difficult to break up. Besides we want to give him a chance so he can make up for his mistakes and see where he goes wrong

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  • I think we just love how the relationship and the person was before they hurt us and normally think if we can forgive and move on then we can get that back, even though it's not normally the case.

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  • Well I mean... she's my mother. I've tried to get her out of my life but it never sticks. I might still love her by default, but I don't have much respect.

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  • It is very easy as long as you focus more on all the good things the person brought to your life instead of the bad ones

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  • my best guess is because somehow you forgot to love yourself, you are afraid to be alone, or both.

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  • It's weird but it happens

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  • Because love is a choice based on your own decision and not the actions of another.

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  • Because that's who we are. STUPID IN LOVE.

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  • I don't...

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  • Because he hates me.
    So I love him :)

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  • No, my attraction to someone is hugely based on how that person treats me. If the guy is being an ass to me, I'll stop liking him.

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  • I don't know...

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  • Usually the person is not ' bad' all of the time. So people cling onto the good happy times that they share.. even if they are few and far between. They hold onto the thought the person may change

    Some people stay in a relationship because their confidence is so low and they have no self- esteem. They start to believe they don't deserve to be treated nice or with respect.

    Sometimes they are scared to leave because the thought of being on their own scares them. They may have the opinion of , " the better the Devil you know than the Devil you don't "

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  • Maybe these song can explain it:
    https://youtu.be/kINgoe53Qjwhttps://youtu.be/gLJFjrwT0VIhttps://youtu.be/uelHwf8o7_U

    Basically we accept the love we think we deserve

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  • You don't love them, you are use to them. They have become a habit in your life. And like any habit it's hard to break from. If they treated you bad that's not love, they hurt you, took your feelings for granted abused your trust, and in some circumstances misguided you. How could that be love!. If you are someone who is lucky to escape, stay that way. Eventually you will get over the hurt. But until you do, nothing good will come to you

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