Why do I still feel this way about her? Help very much appriciated?

Okay, so I'm new to this site, have never been one to seek online advice but I'm not sure what to do anymore. I'm sorry for the long read but it's all vital.

I met a girl at the start of last school year, my sophomore year (August 2014). We met through a friend we both had and instantly hit it off. We were great, could talk for hours about anything you can imagine, we just had a great chemistry. We sat next to each other in the one class we had together, and after about a week I started eating lunch with her and her friends. All her friends were eager for us to get together and would often leave the table so just she and I could talk. There were a few other guys that came in but they all backed off pretty quickly after I came into the picture.

We talked from around August 20th to October 5th or so, became great friends. Went to 3 football games together, nothing more public than that but it was bliss for me. We'd talk every single day, for hours on end. Homecoming was approaching, and I felt comfortable in asking her out, seeing if my feelings for her were reciprocated. They weren't - she told me she thought I was a great guy and that she'd always think of me as a great friend, but she was stuck on her ex in Tennessee (we're in Virginia). I was crushed, and I didn't talk to her for a few days, then I got past it and figured if I waited enough she might come around.

We talked again, not as often but still had a friendship despite it all. Then she just stopped talking to me, wouldn't answer texts or speak to me in class. After a week and a half of her ignoring me I finally asked her about it after class, she said she was just busy and I knew it was a lie, and I admit I got a little angry - I said "you couldn't answer a damn text in a week?" and she got angry at me. I knew I was wrong, and I immediately texted her to apologize, and she just went off on me saying she never wanted a friendship, basically a "fuck you". -c-
The next day I left for the beach and didn't come back for five days. Spent the rest of the semester stuck next to her in class, never talked even about little things. She moved on soon after, has had 3 more boyfriends since we stopped talking. The one girl I talked to in the interim (about 7 months after) I couldn't get into, didn't feel the same though she was obviously into me, and I ended up pushing her away. -c-
It's almost a year later now, we started our junior year last week, and I am still stuck on her. We have 1 class together, and I literally look at her all class wondering how things went so wrong. I think it's really screwed up that she's moved on so well and that I'm still stuck on something from 10 months ago.. she has a boyfriend now but I don't think he's very involved - she broke her leg over the summer, can't go up stairs at school and he never is with her. I'd carry her up if I could! -c-
Anyone willing to help me? I'm kind of confused at the lack of answers


Most Helpful Guy

  • You know, a lot can happen... The best way to find out what to do is to be cautious whe. You are talking to her, and try to get information. If she doesn't want to talk, do your best to move on... Even if she hasn't moved on but she looks like it, you should still always be a good friend to her, because that is the right thing to do. If she doesn't want to see you, then obey her wish... You must sometimes allow yourself to have others try their way first, and then your way, to see if it helps. I had a good friend that was a girl in 9th grade, and we were very good friends. I held her had in 9th grade at a football game, and that is when she became my girlfriend. I continued to love her, and then I realized that I should be waiting to date someone until I am ready to get married, so I broke it off kindly. Now it is my senior year, and we have grown into such good friends it is hard to separate us. I like her, and she likes me, but we are going to stay friends for a while because we don't want to hurt each other... Time will tell you who the right person is for you. When you give time, and continue to try and at least be her friend while respecting her wishes, then you are going down the right path. Talk to her. If she wants to be your friend in the least degree, allow it, and that friendship will grow. If she doesn't, then you must move on, no matter what, and continue your life.


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  • (Signed in anonymously to finish out the rest of the story - not allowed to update any more, I am the same person)

    But he's never with her, at least not at school. I'm sorry for the long long read but it's a very long story. I'm just trying to figure out why I can't get over her, why I feel as strongly as I do after everything she did to me. For a girl I never even dated.

    If you think I left anything important out feel free to ask, there's much more that I didn't type out. Any and all help is appreciated, I'm so confused and lost in this whole thing.

    Thank you!

  • Wow. I have no idea man.


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