I think I can't move on because I keep thinking it was my fault and that I could've been better?

It's been 5 months since he dumped me saying he lost his feelings for me. We were together for 3 years and after like 2 and a half years I started being jealous and needy. There is this girl that he met and she kept flirting with him and he liked it. I noticed something is wrong, that he gives less and less attention to me and more to his friends or just being by himslefl. I never complained, I was trying to bring back the spark and was flirting with him again like in the begining. I started going to the gym and bought new underwear, I wanted to be sexy for him so he doesn't wonder off. Was initiating sex more often too. When I asked him about her he said nothing is happening and I didn't want to smother him, I believed him. But I did told him to be carefull what he's doing so it doesn't become an issue. He totally ignored my body improvement, my underwear and the fact that him hanging out with that chick is not making me feel good. I kept it in for months, until I totally flipped out. He started being distant and I started being paranoid. I would constantly check up on him and we would get in a fight. He would get mad at me for doubting him and would keep saying how I make him feel not good enough, that he loves me but that I need to back off a little bit. Then I back off and he continues doing the same. It practially came to the point where we would saw each other, had sex or be romantic only when he wants to. I became more and more jealous and paranoid and I guess he had it enough. I still don't know if he cheated or not. He sweared he didn't and I hear the two of them are not friends anymore either. It's like he dumped us both. He hasn't been with anyone since we broke up, I hear he is focusing on his studies. Is there anything different that I or him could've done to prevent him losing interest? Who's fault was it? And don't tell me that things just happen, things don't just happen, people do stuff and then things happen.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Can't say it was your fault, and neither was it his. You both just fell out of love, and couldn't co-exist peacefully. SO you just need to move on.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Unless you have a time-machine and can travel back and "fix" things, there is absolutely no point in being obsessed with the past. What good does it do to wonder what would have happened if you had done things differently. You cannot go back and change your past, but you can have an active role in your present and your future. While you're obsessed with things you cannot change, make sure you don't forget you live in the here and now.

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    • It kind of has a point because I want to know what I did wrong, so I can learn from it and be better in the future. I am not planing or even want to fix things with him, what's done it's done. But how am I supposed to learn if I can't dig up a root out of this problem?

    • You said it yourself. You were jealous and needy.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • 3 years is not bad... what the fuck was he thinking? well most guys like us girls being needy to them. some concider it as "cute"... i can say that he did something wrong, when the girl flirted with him. he should of have had backed off from that one and to show you that he really was yours.. ask him how he's doing and what he really wants. i wouldn't trust him on the study thingy tho, he's problably doing something else. good luck, by the way do you want to get back with him again?

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    • He is studying, I know that for sure. We talked few days ago. No I don't think I want to get back together with him... But can't say for sure that I wouldn't think about it if he put an effort to get me back.

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    • there are plenty of nice guys out there waiting for someone. so just move on.. but you have to think what you really want to.

    • too* xD

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