Should guys or girls for that matter stop talking to their ex if it bothers their current girlfriend/boyfriend?

So my guy talks to his ex still, even after I have told him it bothers me. Let me give you the full story on that. He says he doesn't call her, she calls him and he doesn't want to be rude so he says hey and all that. She is fully aware we are together this I know, however this girl calls 3-5 times a week. Now another bit of this is when she found out we were seeing each other she wrote me a message saying they were back together and I needed to leave him alone. She obviously was wrong, however I thought he didn't talk to her anymore, I found out about a month or two later he did. He said its casual, but she does tell him she still loves him and misses him and will ALWAYS be there for him. she also plays the sympathy card and knows he is a nice guy and will listen and try to help her out. He said he has told her he loves me, and she knows that they have nothing, however he just won't stop talking to her. He tells me he doesn't understand why it bothers me so much. I told him he is NAIVE and that she is playing him into her hands, and in the meantime trying to cause us problems and making me look like the jealous one, when SHE is the one stirring the sh*t up. Basically I know the game and what she is doing. She can't stand it he is happy with me. So the last straw is that she called me last week saying he still talked to her, and that he would always want her and I was stupid to think it was over between them. I told her to kiss my ass and prove it if she could otherwise Grow up, Move on and get out of our lives. So then she calls him 3 times this weekend that I know of. I flipped out on him and told him basically its me or her, it bothered me, he was giving her all the ammunition she needed to mess with me, and it was ridiculous. He needed to let go of the past and then we wouldn't have this to argue about. He said he let go of her a long time ago, and he loved me and that it shouldn't bother me. Finally after two days of this he said he wouldn't talk to her anymore. HOWEVER, I want to know if I am being unreasonable, because I don't think I am, and also should I trust that he isn't still talking to her, or do you think he will and just not be honest about it? PLEASE Give me advice! I have a great relationship with this guy other than other GIRLS, and I can tolerate friends, but the EX who is talking sh*t to me, I cannot handle!

THANKS everyone for their advice! If she truly just wanted to be friends with him and that was it I could deal with that. However she doesn't, it boils down to RESPECT, she has none for me, and MY BOYFRIEND should not allow Anyone to Disrespect me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • not permanently, but for a period of time, yes. if it is bothering your current s/o then you should take a break from the friendship you have with the ex until your current s/o is more accepting of it. perhaps they just need to meet, or they just need to know that there is nothing left between the two of you. but I don't think you should lose a friend for good.

    • I knew the girl before when my guy and she dated I actually dated 1 of my nowboyfriend friends and he and his then girlfriend would hang w/us. My ex and I broke up and I stayed in touch w/both him and her 4 awhile. They broke up and he and I were just friends 4 like a year and a half and then decided 2 start dating. so She and I know each other-she flipped when we startd seeing each other, though they had split for 5 mths prior. she has harrassed ME and tried everything 2 get him back, she won't leave him alone

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What Guys Said 2

  • Friends are friends. Whether they used to be more at one point or not, they are just friends now. If the significant other can't accept that, it's their problem.

    That being said, if the ex is going out of her way to be a bitch to you, you need to bring it to his attention. But you need to accept that because she's been in his life for a lot longer, he may choose her side if he has to choose.

    • I have brought it to his attention, he has told me he will stop talking to her. But what I guess I really don't get is the fact that if you care about someone, or love them even and someone or something is hurting them in ANY WAY, why wouldn't you want to make it stop? It seems a simple thing to me to cut the ex out, SHE is the PAST, move on, especially if she is hurting who you are with NOW. Who cares how long they have been there if they are hurting someone you care about NOW?

    • She is the past to you. She is the present to him, just as a friend. That is where your assessment of the situation is incorrect.

    • And there-in lies the Significant problem, if she is the PRESENT to him, I don't need to be around. To put it bluntly, it bothers me, she has talked trash and caused problems for us. she tries to get under my skin and although I try not to let her, she succeeds. I am the present. Any guy or girl who would put their ex before the needs of the current relationship needs to re-evaluate why they are in a relationship to begin with. Current Relationship= Present; EX is for a Reason= past

  • YES! I want my girl all to myself. I don't want her talking to someone else that she used to be in a relationship with as more than friends... that would make me feel very insecure about our relationship.


What Girls Said 1

  • An ex that is still obviously in love with him and wants him back...he needs to not talk to her anymore especially when it is bothering you. If he continues to do so...then he has no respect for you and I'd dump him. I believe ex's can be friends but this is not just "friends" she wants something more from him. I believe he is just trying to be "nice".

    • I completely agree, I know she wants more and he is so blind 2 that. He says because he doesn't it should be no big deal. I agree ex's can b friends, I WAS great friends w/my ex husb. out of respect for my guy I cut that out because how can you move toward the future if you cling to the past? I guess I feel like he should c things from my side and not be so blind "NICE" to the fact this chick wants him back. I c things all 2clearly but I look jealous NOT her being a bitch

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