Why doesn't he want to be friends?

Okay so long story short, he wanted to end things between us because of the long distance. He's currently studying in a different country. He says he wants me to entertain other guys here instead of waiitng fo him to come back home (after 3 more years). But he mentioned that he would still like to be my friend if I would let him. That was last February.

Well, last month I agve him a handwritten letter syaing that I'm okay being just friends now and I won't ask for anyting else. And if he will find someone else, I'll be okay with it if he's happy but nevertheless, I'll always be here for him if he needs me. I also mentioned there that I hoenstly dont know why he wanted to end things - if he just can't see himself with me, he's not ready to be in a relationship now or maybe he's just insecure (becausee he's so far away from me and he thinks there are a lot of guys falling in line for me).

To my surprise, he replied and said that I was right, he was being insecure (I dont know what he means by this).

But why is he still ignoring me? I just don't understand. I told him I already that I only see him as a friend (which is what he wanted, right?)

If we can't be together, I'm okay with staying just as friends, but it hurts me how we suddenly become like strangers by the way he's ignoring me :( I know we didn't fight about anything. But I'm not forcing him to be friends if he doesn't want. Like, I never messaged him again...

Please, especially guys, can you help me understand why he keeps on ignoring me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • "To my surprise, he replied and said that I was right, he was being insecure (I dont know what he means by this)."

    What do you not understand? You said that he might feel insecure because he might think other guys are just waiting to hit on you. He agreed. I. e. the reason you stated is true. There's not much here that can be misunderstood.

    He's ignoring you either because he really doesn't want to be your friend, or because he still likes you and it's too difficult to be friends right now. Either way don't bother him, if he wants to be your friend then let him come to you when he feels ready. However you shouldn't wait by your phone or your computer forever, since that day might not come. I would start moving on if I were you.

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  • Because that's what they all do. They say they will stick around and be friends, but as soon as they find something or someone else to do to occupy their time, they disappear. It's good that you didn't contact him and that's what you should keep doing. You don't wanna end up like I did. My ex said the same thing after dumping me (and were also in a LDR) and he really did stick around for few months. We kept chatting, hanging out, and basically acted like nothing really happened. Then his school started and suddenly he wasn't showing on Skype anymore and wouldn't bother texting me or whatever. He used me while he was bored and now that he's not I don't exist anymore. So I ended up being hurt again even more. I should've been smarter and just cut him off when he dumped me.

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    • Thank you for this. I'm so happy to hear from someone who understands my situation. yeah, it sucks :( you're right, I should just cut him off.

      If you don't mind me asking, what was the reason you broke up?

    • Tbh I don't even know. We were together for 3 years and one day he just decided he doesn't want to do this anymore. Never gave me a real reason.

  • he just doesn't like you.

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