He's staying with me?

We dated very briefly a few months ago. It didn't end very amicably. He decided he wasn't ready for a relationship because of his last relationship (more than a year ago). I felt that he'd just used me for sex. We didn't speak for a couple of months. Then he started texting me to tell me he was sorry about what had happened. I replied civilly but was skeptical as to why he was suddenly contacting me. Eventually he told me he needed a place to stay for a few days. I'm kinda a pushover and will go out of my way to help people, so I said yes. A few days have turned into almost 2 weeks with no concrete end in sight. Things between us are also pretty awkward. On a few occasions when we've been out with friends, we've drunkenly slept together. These nights have usually ended with us cuddling all night and just generally acting like a couple. He's started calling me pet names too. When we're sober though I don't know how to act and it gets awkward. Do I need to talk to him about this? What do I say and how do I bring it up? Please don't bother answering if you're going to say I should make him leave etc.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • yes, talk to him and find out some things

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly in my opinion it seriously just sounds like he's using the absolute shit out of you. Like you said, you're a bit of a pushover which you and I both know he knows and he's using that to his advantage. I feel like the only reason he contacted you was because of the bind he was in and he knew you'd let him stay with you. This so called sweet shit he's doing for you, like the pet names and cuddling, just sounds like him further baiting and trying to manipulate you even more into letting him stay there, even though he was only supposed to be there for a few days. He's getting supposed drunk sex, plus he has a place to sleep and wash his ass. He's good af right now and to stay that way he needs to convince you to let him and he's doing that by playing "Sweetheart". I could be wrong though? Is he paying for anything? Such as his own food, beer, etc? Is he also working while he's staying there?

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    • I guess, in his defense, he is paying for his own food and has paid me for rent and utilities. He's also helping out with taking out the trash and cleaning etc. And he is working full time while he's staying here. I guess I'm conflicted because I can see you're point about him using me.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • With your Last statement, I am Gathering you do Not mind that he Not... Leave.
    This is a relationship where you both do not have any strings atttached, although Now you are living under the same roof but ot actually two birds of a feather. And with you both getting pie eyed and ending up cozily under the sheets, it Leaves less to be desired the next morning because it isn't a Kodak moment but more Like... It gets awkward.
    Time to set down a few house rules if you want him to stay. I do not know what sort of living arrangements you have made with him as far as paying his half but tell him the 'Other half' of you doesn't feel comfortable with you both just going out like budweisers into the nite and ending up in between the sheets before dawn turns into Light.
    Tell him you do not mind him staying with you but you feel it might be best that if you are going to be under this roof together, keep it friends and Not With.. Benefits.
    If he Is staying there for free, don't be this 'Pushover' who will Permit Anything under the sun just so he can butter your buns to stay even Longer. He will then think he will get everything handed to him on this silver platter without Anything 'Concrete' Etched in stone in a Relationship, just 'Pet names' to seal the deal with a Kiss.
    Good luck. xx

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