How would you handle or think about this situation with your ex?

He broke up with me two months ago due to fights. We didn't talk for a month. I've worked on the areas of concern and will continue to better myself. We got coffee the other day which turned into hanging out for 5 hours in which HE initiated . I told him I'd like to slowly date again. He told me: He is scared and can't risk being in the same situation again. He is beginning his docorate and can't take the stress of things going back to way things were. He can't see us dating because he remembers how we fought and it hurt him. He really cares about me and the onlly way he would consider it is if I truly have the self esteem I deserve. He can't base a descision after only seeing each other once in a long time. He said all he can offer right now is 100% friendship and he still wants us to be in each others lives. After that HE iinitiated holding me on my bed and he kissed me on my cheek (nothing else happened). The longer we aren't together the more it hurts. I know I need more patience but need some advice on how to do so? I feel like he is kind of all over the place with what he tells me and his actions. I know he does care about me and maybe even still loves me but I don't know how to break this wall down and give us another chance again.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Just because two people Breakup doesn't mean they can't and don't Makeup and that it's Goodbye, my love forever. And with two Ex, who still Marks an X in one another's softie spot,@Newgirl244, there may come a time down the love line when he tells You... All he can offer right now is 100% friendship...
    If you still love him, which I see that you do, you need to make a choice here, dear. Either hang in there and on a whim and a prayer, go slow with this newfound "Friendship' that he has so Generously has given you an Option, so you both can possibly nurse and nurture a nice relationship once more, that just Might go back To... The way we were, only better this time around.
    If you feel your heart get broken, that you will not be able to take the heart break of Here today and maybe Not tomorrow with his own free bird ways these days, then move on and focus on you and begin your beguine of licking your war wounds. This sort of relationship is Never 100% guarantee and to make it worse, put more coals in the friendship fire, Friends with benefits doesn't always help in becoming two birds of a feather again.
    Do some soul searching. Right now, with you back in his life with little strife, he wants you but also he wants... His cake and eat it Two with his own sweet treat.
    Good luck. xx

    • Thank you for your comment. We talked about and he knows there will be no sex of any kind. He said if we do it will lead to me having expectations.

    • Show All
    • I haven't heard from him since we hung out (saturday). I'm waiting to hear from him because I can't be the only one initiating contact. I hurts that things aren't the way they were before. He would text me constantly, also wanted to see me, we spent a lot of time together. He was my best friend, my partner in crime, my boyfriend. The waiting hurts more and more. I don't understand if he still loves me why hasn't he given us a chance? Why does he go days without talking to me when we use to talk everyday all day. I don't understand.

    • Because he is Now his own boss and a free bird and feels he is free to do as he wants with you and when. It will just continue and even though he still cares, doesn't mean he wants to go back together right now or whenever... Wait if you want or just focus on you now and let him see you do not sit around for him or no man. xx

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think time apart is best.
    My cousin is 37, and she broke up with her boyfriend for a year or two. She wasn't serious with anyone else at the time, but she realized how much she loved him during that brief time. They reconciled and got married. They've been together for 10yrs now.
    The point I'm trying to make is that some relationships can come back stronger after some time apart, and some just run it's course. The one thing I've learned is that nothing should be forced. No matter how much you love someone or want to be with someone, you can't make that person want to be with you. They're either with you or not. Respect his decision for now, and work on yourself. He's got his life to live, go live yours.


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