Girls, Guys, do you think this guy ever cared?

I haven't been this hurt over a guy in a while. Dated on and off for over a year, I am not saying it was super seroius because I know he had commitment issues. There were so many signs that pointed that way and in fact he practically told me. All i know is there was some girl from years ago (over 7) that broke his heart and she was brought up quite a few times. He told me once when he was drinking that he was let down too much in the past and then another time that he was old and bitter and didnt't want to be with me and make me that way because im 13 years younger (22) he's 35. He never super leaned on me for emotional support but there was an understanding that I knew he had some problems internally. It was a very interesting kind of relationship but I will say he was honest... fromtthe very start even when I didn't realize what he really meant, he tried telling me that you can't change a person and I now understand bc i later realized he had some huge problem w commitment and opening up and getting close and I guess bieng a girl i thought i could change him but now im left hearbroken. It ended for the last time I think, It all ended w a friend of mine going up to him when they were both out at a bar and she called him an asshole , etc, First he ended it bc he said i talk bad about him but then said hed think about it. Then he tried talking to me agian &then changed his mind and said we both need to move on and he cared about me and missses me but life moves on. I said life moves on bc u won't let anyone care about u and he said take care little miss. I tried to talk to him a few days later and he pretty much tezted me saying to move on and i tried to ask for his reasons bc he said there were many more than just my friend going up to him and all i received back was : "bye. That really hurt bc I just wanted closure but guess he's doing me a favor. Just hard to think i spent so much time w him and thats all i got. he's a rlly funny guy w a heart somehwere. opinons?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Sometimes scars from previous relationships affect us more than we realise. I was hurt by a girl many years ago and it was deep and even now it still comes to the surface at times usually when I'm a bit down. I makes me very suspicious of everyone and especially those who i am closest to. I think maybe he thinks too much of you to want to really hurt you and this is his way of backing off before he sells out to you too much.
    You might get face to face with him and have a real good chat about the two of you and tell him what you want. That is if you really want him. Other than that I can't offer much in the way of help. but blame the previous woman for his resistance. You need to tell him that in no uncertain terms you don't think he's an asshole. XXX

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  • sounds like commitment just isn't his thing. It doesn't sound like your thing either, to be honest. You said you wanted to "change" him. That's not commitment to a person, that's commitment to a project. To me, commitment means you accept things exactly as they are, and will never waiver in your support, no matter what. Perhaps he sensed that you didn't share his definition of commitment, and thus didn't want to share a commitment.

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