He technically broke up with me almost 6 months ago. We stayed living in the same house on different floors, it worked out okay for a while. We stayed in the house together mostly for the sake of our son. But about 6 weeks later he kicked me out because he thought I slept with his friend in "his bed." (Our bed from when we were together - and I didn't.) BTW he was a couple states away visiting his girlfriend at the time in question, whom he started seeing before he broke up with me.
A little back story: About 2 1/2 months before the break up, he was laid off. About a week after he was laid off he bought a mini monster truck. I LOVE monster trucks but the timing was HORRIBLE! He worked on the truck a lot and started taking it to mud runs. He took it down to a mud run in the state that the girl he was seeing lived in. I wasn't a fan of having the truck at this time, but if we had it, I wanted to be involved. I wasn't allowed to get into it, but he was taking his new girl to them. Also, I'm a big fan of MMA. And while one day there was an MMA match in our local bigger town and he took her to it. Finally, within weeks of kicking me out, he took our son around her, not just a casual meet at the mall either, but an overnight weekender.
Now, we have to see each other regularly because of our son. And despite it all, I'd like to be friends. I don't want my son to grow up with parents that can't get along. But the problem is that now he's trying to get back together with me. And right now, I absolutely don't want to get back together. And he keeps saying things like, "I know I screwed up, but I miss you guys so much." And constantly trying to hold my hand and rub my leg, and when I tell him no, he gets upset and says things like "Why is that so bad if I touch?" And he calls and/or texts ALL the time. I hear my phone ring and cringe because I'm 95% certain it's him. I don't know what to do or say to make him stop at this point.
I could see us getting back together some day if some major changes are made BEFORE. We both have a lot of work to do on ourselves. How can I make him understand that it is NOT going to happen right now, under these circumstances, without crushing him and making things super tense between us?
Sorry it's so long.
Most Helpful Guy
It sounds like there’s a lot of tension between both of you, and a lot of feelings there with him, and then on top of having a child together is always one of the hardest things when wanting a break from him. I think your on the right path with trying to keep it together, and it sounds like your mind is in the right place, but your heat is broken. But within all that you’ve got a kid to take care of.
I don’t have a kid, and so I can’t see both sides, but to answer that question of yours….
I don’t think there really is any right, or wrong answer. The right answer is always the first. So take those steps in order to talk to him, and tell him how you feel. I think it’s best to look at the child, and see what it needs rather than seeing what he wants. It sounds selfish to me, and I think what should change on his part is being there for his child, and becoming a part of that life. I think he’s lost out on who you are as well. I guess what I’m tiring to say is, the child is apart of you, and him. He’s lost sight of something mush greater, and that’s the hole package.0