Does anyone have an ex who tries to make your life difficult and if so how do you cope?

My ex and I share a son together, so I have to deal with him. He does everything to try to make me miserable. He broke up with me this Jan. and expected me to beg for him back and I did not. He makes life so difficult and I cannot communicate with him. I don't even try. Right now i am having to deal with him taking my son to the ER. My son has 2 insurances, one through me which is private and through his dad, which is medicaid. Each time he takes him, the hospital bills my insurance as opposed to both of them. It's so very frustrating that this continues to happen. I cannot even call him to ask for a copy of the bill since when he took him, he used his address and not mine. Luckily with my insurance I have a liasion who can resolve these billing issues so I am not having to deal with a huge copay. Can someone tell me how I can cope with this.

My son is 4 years old and each time he comes back from his dad's house he is filthy. I mean dirty clothes, skin has dirty, hair matted and I am just frustrated. My ex has already gotten married and he still is a jerk and I don't have anything to do with him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • My step-mom's ex husband kept harassing her. Telling her she was a terrible mom. Calling her fat even though she's very attractive (and he's about 280lbs with no muscle). Always asking her for money.

    One day he was over, because she unfortunately still has to let her son live with him. He started arguing with her. Then told my dad about how he was never getting good sex again because she's to ugly and boring and *insert more bullshit*. My dad's always stayed out of it been polite and just stood near to make sure the guy didn't get physical. I was in the living room and got a little pissed and walked in like her ex wasn't there and said something along the lines of "Hey you guys need to tone it down at night when I'm trying to get some sleep, not sure what's going on, but i'm pretty sure you're making just about the whole damn neighborhood jealous. It's getting annoying to hear 'oh god you're so big' over and over for an hour straight"

    Some of the he details are probably off since it was about 5 years ago, but i distinctly remembering the ex getting real quiet, and leaving without saying another word... he was a dick.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My ex left me 3 months ago and we have children too, it has been a nightmare. The first 2 months were the worst and then we were spending a little time together having lunch with our girls. I thought ok maybe this would be the start to us reconcile and maybe slowly work things out. But then shortly after that he took the girls to the park and met someone. So before finding out he started seeing this girl I sent him a message saying how much I was enjoying our time together and was wanting to get therapy together and basically try and see if we can fix things. After I sent him that he sent me a message that basically said a rich mother with two kids hired him as a under cover body gaurd to protect her from her ex husband who almost killed her which in turn killed their unborn child. Then he said that as a trust exercise she asked him to go sky diving and that if he did that she had a job for him to protect her and her children in Cuba for one or two weeks. Also said that after the job was done she would pay him 1.5million dollars and that she would make it look like he won a contest of some sort. Then told me if he didn't take the money he would live a lavish life with her as her husband. With a bit of re search I found out none of this was true... Which I already knew and besides that he told his parents she was a widow... Just the other night he texted me that he wasn't doing the job as her body gaurd because he found out it was a trap and it would have killed him he then followed to offer me a friends with benifits situation saying that we would only sleep with each other. Before giving hi
    A defient answer he told me the trap wasn't for him and that they needed him. Why he felt to make a such a story and still going with it instead of just telling me I meet someone and we like each other and want to date I have no clue...

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    • Basically he wants to keep hooked as I doubt he likes the Idea of me moving on and being with someone else but he gets his cake and eat it too. It just hurts because even after everything I still care.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • If he is not taking proper care of your son then you can go to court and end his unsupervised visitation. You will probably need legal help to do this.

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  • Please. My ex is the worst. I have our child, but she's involved only to the point of making every little decision as difficult as possible.

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  • Document the condition that your son comes home in, call a lawyer and contest custody

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  • My brother's ex girlfriend makes life difficult for him. She wants to see the kids when she didn't see them for months cause of car problems. My brother told her she would have to wait for next month.

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  • Try to have a boyfriend. ? Your ex husband will stop annoying you. And if you're seeking for vengeance ruin his life with his wife

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  • I don't have an ex, and I certainly don't plan to have one.

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  • Yeah my kids mommy is a fucking cold hearted evil soulless psychopath who does everything in her power to make my life a living Hell

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What Girls Said 10

  • First off, I want to say that I am sorry that you are having to deal with this!

    I feel super bad for your son, because it sounds like his father is not being very fair to him at all, even though he has done nothing wrong.

    I've never understood how when someone breaks up with the father or mother of their child, how they can just start treating their child like crap or put them in the middle. It's an incredibly selfish way of dealing with things.

    The only thing I can say is to hang in there. Don't try to agitate him, just kind of go with the flow. Do what you need to do to help your son and raise him right.

    If it's at all possible, try to sit down with him and have a talk. Now that he is with someone new, there is no reason for him to have such animosity towards you. He should be happy with the new person in his life.

    Remind him that he has a duty to his son as his father and that he needs to treat his son right. Try to work out a plan if possible.

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  • So sorry but this is a legal matter and a jerk will continue to do thing his way like the bullies they are - until someone stronger punches them in the face - legally. The lawyer will also document all these ER visits while explaining to him that HE will come before a judge someday to explain WHY while in his "care". He'll get the insurance card presto. A necessary expense & training tool.

    Emotional bargaining is sometimes best performed by the SO/spouse but until you get one to deal through his, I hope you can deal through his.

    Calendars become MOST important, as dictated by the divorce agreement. Calendar Creator is easy to use, employed by many churches, et al. so publishing this well ahead of potential date problems is imperative. Thus, if/when they want to switch dates last minute, you have the upper hand in bartering with them.

    Remember that a jerk is someone that blames others and paints them as evil, so you must be on your best behavior when dealing with his spouse... she has eyes on both of you and soon will know the truth and become more soft hearted over time. Even after age 18, you'll have to deal with the discomfort of graduation, marriage, births, et al. so plant your seeds wisely.

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  • Sounds like he's still trying to piss you off after all this time. Maybe he's still bitter?

    In my opinion, you have two options.

    Make peace and communicate, tell him to stop point scoring and put his son's welfare first, it's not good for him to be seeing all this tension and stress between his mum and his dad. Say it's not about you, it's not about me, it's about our child and if he still acts like a jerk i'd consider revoking his parental rights for sometime until he begins to treat you with respect.

    Second option:
    Don't deal with it for now. Let him keep trying to get a reaction and maybe eventually he'll get bored.

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  • Get a lawyer, and blame him for not taking good care of your son. He will eventually lose the custody and you hopefully won't have to deal with him again. It will be expensive, but it'll allow you to get rid of this burden and it will still be cheaper than having to pay unplanned fees to the ER because your ex didn't do his job.
    When you've done that, kick that nigga to the curb! You don't need negativity in your life. I wish you good luck! :)

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  • I am really sorry to hear that. My coping strategy was eating iced cream and binge watching "Young and Hungry." (So funny by the way, I love that show so much.) I also like to hang out with my girl friends, the ones that are supportive of me and want me to feel good about myself. I don't know how else to help you other than to offer you this advice.

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  • My ex punished me for breaking up with him by opening credit cards in both our names, maxing them out, and then letting them default. How did I cope? I learned how to live with a lousy credit record and thanked my lucky stars that I didn't stay with him.

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    • Couldn't he get arrest for that? and why didn't you cancel the cards and say I didn't got this card I'm not paying for it.

    • You'd think there'd be a simple solution to this, wouldn't you?
      No, he couldn't get arrested. When I called the police they told me it was a domestic and they couldn't help me. I asked did that mean because I'd dated him he could steal from me all he wanted and they wouldn't respond and the officer repeated "it's a domestic. we can't help you with that."
      I didn't call to cancel the cards until long after the damage was done because (1) I didn't know they existed and (2) when I found out and talked to creditors they wouldn't answer my questions because I didn't know the phone password.
      I DID say I didn't get this card and I'm not paying for it and the creditors said if you don't pay for it we'll put it on your credit record. I tried to sue but discovered that it costs several thousand dollars and you have to hire a lawyer in the jurisdiction where the crime was committed or where the creditor is located, which meant multiple lawyers far from home. Couldn't afford it.

  • Get your baby out of there seems like abuse. I mean how many times to the er? Neglect? Dont let anyone hurt you baby

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  • No I don't get into situations where a man treats me like that. If he's an ex I cut him off quick but I don't have kids either

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  • Thank god no. That would be scary

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  • You should sit him down and talk to him. Tell him that it's unacceptable.

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