I always initiate?

There's this girl I've been pursuing. We've gone on one date and we planned a second one, but our schedules just didn't match up. However, I've begun to realize I've been the only one initiating conversations and asking her to do things. Since realizing this, I haven't talked to her in five days and she has made no effort to contact me, It just seems if I were not to call or text her I wouldn't hear from her ever again. Is she just not interested?


Most Helpful Guy

  • She might not be interested, but then again she might also be trying not to seem eager. The problem is when a girl is really interested in a guy they usually can't help but text/call and see what's going on. But then again you got to be a man and take charge of the situation. Just because she isn't making plans just might mean that she isn't as assertive with what she wants. YOU have to be the confident guy that can handle any situation. So text/call her and announce where you are going with her next. "Hey I choose you, this Saturday we are going on an adventure." Be direct, assertive, and confident with what you say AND do.


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What Girls Said 2

  • She probably just isn't the type to ask someone else out on a date and stuff...also the fact that you haven't called her is probably driving her crazy and she is probably wondering what she did wrong, or whether or not she should call you, I think you should call her and find a time that the both of you can go out and maybe after a couple of dates you can ask her why she never asks you out or something like that...=) goodluck

    • But the feeling I get is that if I never call or text her, I wouldn't hear from her ever again. It just feels like I'm the only one interested in all this and she doesn't care if I call her or not.

    • Well maybe you should ask her out and talk to her about it and see if you two are on the same boat or if your just wasting your time...

  • So... can more guys realize what you just realized? (like the ones who pursue me?) Please? If she never initiates, I don't think she's interested. (And kudos to you for realizing it.)

    I mean, if I really liked a guy and I wanted to go on a second date but our schedules didn't match up, I'd pull out a calendar and look through the whole month to find a time.

    Give her one last chance to work out a time for the second date (on that off-chance she "really was busy") and if she doesn't bite, you know she's not interested.


What Guys Said 1

  • I'm pretty certain she's not interested. The schedules not matching up is a pretty dead give away. There's nothing wrong with being the one to always "initiate." If a girl has real interest and there's no serious emergency, she will always find a place on her calendar.

    • In terms of her schedule, she has valid excuses, but she never offers to reschedule on the spot. So I never offer, either. So I'm wondering whether I should ask her again or not and whether if it was my mistake not to reschedule.

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