Why would a guy keep it to himself if he is struggling with a relationship and is not sure if he wants to stay in it?

My ex of 3 years did this to me. Towards the end of our relationship, I noticed that something is off. He became distant and he would have mood swings. He would make excuses for not spending time with me and then the next day he would be all lovey dovey to me. Until the next time he becomes distant again. It felt wrong and I knew he is getting bored of everything. At first I didn't want to make a big deal out of it and I kind of believed that if something has changed he would talk to me about it, like we always did in the past. But then I couldn't take it anymore and I talked to him about it, and all he would say is that everything is alright, that I have nothing to worry about, that he still loves me. So I thought maybe I'm overthinking it and let it go. And then the same thing happans again, and I mention the topic again, saying that it makes me feel uncomfortable and that he shouldn't restrain from talking to me if something is wrong, that I am here for him and that I won't judge. That I just want to know the truth. Then he tells me again that nothing is wrong and kept making excuses why he was acting the way he was. Then some months after, he just dumped me. He said he fell out of love with me and that he's been feeling like that for quite some time... What the hell?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i dont know

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    • thanks for mho :D but i couldnt help you, i am sorry lady:(

    • It's okay I just needed points. :D

    • thank you for understanding :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • That is why i always believe in trusting your gut feeling. Intuition feels what your eyes can't see. If something is false then it causes doubt and confusion. Your gut told you something wasn't right , and you discovered it to be true.

    All you can do is try to accept his feelings have changed. Sometimes people grow apart or their feelings change over time. for whatever reasons... known only to them.

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    • Thank you for MHO 💐

    • No problem. :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm just like your ex in the relationship right now, except my girlfriend knows. With me it's because I don't want to hurt her, but I manned up and told her anyways and we're trying to see if it passes over. He probably thought that it would be a waste to tell you because it's his problem that only he can solve. I feel alone right now because no matter how many times my girlfriend asks, this is a personal problem that only the person falling out of love can solve. It's a painful internal conflict that never ends. "Should I leave her or should I stay?" But even that can't summarize how complex the conflict is. One second I want to be single and breakup, the next second I'm worried that she is the best for me. He probably didn't think that you could help him. This is an internal struggle after all

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What Girls Said 2

  • Guys struggle with talking about their feelings and they generally hate drama and making girls cry. He didn't want to hurt you.

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  • He probably thought it's useless to keep having the same conversation over and over maybe. He probably sat around hoping things changed and it didn't. I've been there and for me it became pointless trying to talk, I felt like I was repeating myself and nothing changed

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    • The same conversation? What conversation? We never talked about it because he always said everything was okay, it was literally 2 conversations that last 10 seconds.

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