How can I get my ex boyfriend to have an open discussion with me and at least want to work things out?

My ex and I were in love and very happy with eachother. His family didn't like me very much and made it known to him on several occasions. They knew that they were his number one priority and that their comfort was the most important to him. he started to get upset and bothered why they didn't like me because he loves me and wanted us to be together forever. He ended up gettinf a second dui and him and I were working through it. He finally told his family and they blamed it on me! they told him to dump me because I was no good and I didn't accelerate his life in any way. He was upset with the news and begged me one day to work things out with him even though his family felt that way. When I told him that it bothered me that their opinions makes him doubt us, he said he understood and two hours later, broke up with me. He refused to talk about it in fear that he would come back to me. He even refused to meet me in person to discuss. I asked him to give me a legitimate reason as to why we are breaking up when just two hours before, he was begging for us to try and work. He told me because he doesn't love me. I just don't know what to do. It's been two weeks and part of me hates him for treating me the way he did, but part of me wants answers as well. How can I get him to have an open conversation with me? I feel like his evil, manipulative family is just making things harder for us and part of me is scared that they won't let him continue to speak with me. I want to know if any of this relationship was real to him ( we would always talk about marriage and kids) was any of it real? How do I get him to see the truth about us?


Most Helpful Guy

  • To be honest, if it is really about family. It is no use talking now. He after all has an obligation to his family. If you really want to make things work. Ask his family, mother most likely. Father might be in favor but it is the mother who is the one you should talk.

    And by the way you both are from same background ethnic or otherwise?

    • we unfortunately are not from the same background. He told me that they would have to accept me because he loves me, but i could tell it was bothering him as well. I have already reached out to his mom before and she told me that i put too much pressure on him and that it's my fault. the dad told him to flat out break up with me-- especially with him getting the DUI and everything

    • I think this pretty much explains it. I am sorry for assuming He is white and you are some other color? And what is it about DUI. What happened can you tell more about it?

      I just noticed something. Never say a person his family is manipulative or evil even if it is true. It hurts them even when they have to deal with them everyday.
      It makes things miserable because they can't do anything and will only block you out of their lives for the family.
      Well, it is a pretty difficult situation. Although if your ex-friend gets the courage to confront them. This might work out. But from what I see he is not going to do it.
      And if it is the same case that it is he who is white than is unfortunately 10% probability he will accept you and break-up with his family.
      He could have if at least one member of the family supported him. You know, if he know someone has his back. What is your ethnicity/background? If you don't mind.
      Though you are quite a blunt person to directly ask his parents.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Trying to make him communicate and cooperate when he is being stubborn and not reciprocating will do nothing but make the situation that much more intense, frustrating, and painful. For whatever reason, he's not ready to talk and he's not interested in seeing you. So I know that stings but you just have to accept that you can't control what he says or how he chooses to behave. The only thing you can control is yourself and the way you choose to behave as well as your actions. So with that said...

    As hard as it is, the best move in situations like this seems to stop being present in the guy's life. Stop calling and texting him. Stop being so easily accessible. Give him time to crave the intricate parts of your existence. Your absence will create strolls down memory lane in his mind. You have got to muster the self-discipline and self-control to not reach out to him because at this point you just feel like you're being rejected over and over and over. You get him to see the truth about you two by being absent, letting time do it's thing, and allowing that truth to become deafening without you around.

    • What you should to do at this point is give yourself one really good cry. You have essentially been wronged and it hurts. His lack of urgency or desire to remedy the problem is the equivalent of a bag of salt being poured into that wound. So give yourself one good angry, ugly, frustrated, withering cry. Throw yourself on the nearest object like Disney taught you to and sob. Lol? Scream into a pillow. SEND YOURSELF A TEXT of all the things you wish he would listen to. Do not send it to him: type your own phone number in the send box and one day when you look back on this, it will be an interesting read. Release the heartache you're feeling then hold your head eye, smile, and move forward. Don't ever let him make you cry like that again. Don't make a mental habit out of being hurt and feeling wounded. Mourn the loss of an idea and his daily presence then do a service to yourself by refusing to stay stuck in reverse. Get out and enjoy what other blessings you have!

    • Show All
    • You HAVE TO stop messaging him if you want to recover and ensure that you'll have a healthy, peaceful future. There is no other way. With the choice he has made and the behavior he's showing you, it's an extreme injustice to your future self and potential life to spend anymore time at all messaging him.

    • thanks by the way :)

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  • Hi dear i read your comment and i know how you feel now because i have passed through this same way with my ex and i was so depressed but am happy we are back and married together today there are some advice i would have to give you to take and it will surely work out for you i want you to email me on my private email so we can talk better and tell you what to do. this is my email address mccartkatty@gmail. com i will be waiting for your mail the advice will help out


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