Am I sabotaging myself?

My ex broke up with me 5 months ago. I was (and still am) devastated. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I did what I thought I should and tried to move on, I left him alone completely, he blocked me anyway. I've tried to meet someone else, but all I seem to meet are flakes and guys that just want to play games. He wants nothing to do with me, so I really want to just forget him, but everything I do to forget him is nothing but a failure. Today is my birthday, I woke up wanting nothing more than to hear from him, but I know I won't.

By focusing on him so much (unintentionally), am I somehow killing my chances of meeting someone else? The problem seems to be with the guys I'm meeting, but I don't know. I'm the common denominator in all of this.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Firstly, wish you a very happy birthday!

    Now, coming to your question... believe me when I say this, but time heals everything. Just indulge in things you enjoy doing. Perhaps a hobby, hanging out with friends etc. Eventually, you'll realise that you don't feel pained by his memories anymore!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Happy birthday, sweetie, and I recall a sad 16th birthday one year here, dear, with Breakingup with My Fitrst Love just a month or so before Both our Birthdays. It wa the sadddest day of my life and Istill have the Pix to show for it..
    It's never easy with a Bad BreakUp and I believe that out of all the guys in my life and even to this day, having ahusband out in Egypt that we always Breakup and Makeup all of the time, I never felt as Broken hearted as I did when I broke it off with Dan.
    It has only been '5 months ago' so it is just a newbie split. And you have not totally gotten over him. You have tried to go out and find a Face to replace the man who is now gone, but I believe you are Just Not ready and not really raring and it may be too soon down the love line.
    With every guy you do end up being with or trying to be in this Real relationship with, you will always compare him to the Past who is now no blast because you are still in love with him.
    I did this for 7 long years until one nite I finally got closure. We got together when he he was ready a week later to walk down the aisle with another, and I realized then it was over because what I felt at 16 was Not what I was feeling then at 21.
    Go slow with your own flow, sweetie. Allow yourself Time to lick those sore war wounds and in Time... It does heal all wounds and only then are the Memories left behind that will always scar but now are so... Far.
    Be friends with these guys until someone comes along that you can find to light up your candles again.
    Good luck and blessings. xx


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, you're rebounding. You're probably letting your past relationship dictate your newer ones. Just by having him on your mind changes your mood and causes you to bring up things that's related to your past relationship. Sometimes you'll see things that aren't really there, projection of your own thoughts. Also, any guy who's experienced with dating will notice this and run the other way. It's a recipe for disaster, and they don't want to deal with your emotional baggage.


What Girls Said 1

  • Happy birthday!

    You're not the only one, 6 months here and still in the same boat as you are. I also tried dating but I realized I was forcing myself just to get my ex out of my head. So I gave up on finding the guy. I realized I need to be single for awhile.

    You know that the best things come when we least expect it, so don't rush or force yourself into anything. Just because someone dumped you doesn't mean you need to change your life. Just keep living and do stuff you like doing, and over time he will disappear from your thoughts.


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