Mixed Feelings after my break up. What can I do to cope?

Okay hi this is a lot so please bear with me. I broke up with my girlfriend of a year and a half two months ago. Last summer I had the time of my life with her and we did everything together and I really didn't have any friends in high school (started dating halfway through senior year) so my only other obligation was work. College comes, were cast 3 and a half hours away and we're starting to do okay. I meet new friends and start to enjoy college. Like most college students, we like to go out on the weekends and drink. I know my limits, I've never thrown up from drinking and I would never cheat. This is where stuff got rough. Seeing as this was our first time separated, she didn't trust me and it lead to a lot of fights and an extremely rough freshmen year with me having to always leave my friends and cancel going out only to end up fighting. We broke up this summer because it was just way too toxic. Fast forward now and I've felt terrible and tried to reconcile. She talked to me and I thought it would be okay only to realize she was turning the tables on me. I saw her for the first time and we hung out with my best friend and her friend. All she did was talk about how she has 200 tinder matches (only had tinder for 2 months) and the guy friends she hangs out with. On top of that she was a bitch the whole night. Final straw came when someone called her and she said "we don't need to talk about last night, like ever again" and I just got up and left my friends house. Now here's the biggest thing I can't stand. A mutual friend of mine hit her up as a joke on Twitter and they've been texting secretly behind my back. the other night, his snap chat story has a selfie of her on it at a party. I flipped out on him, haven't talked since. I've been doing no contact and she texts me and snap chats me a lot. I can't get back together after all this. She's trying to get with my friends, told lies to her family who now hates me and tries to ruin my life. How do I move on from this?

Updates:
Just some added stuff. I was her first boyfriend and she was my first true love. I took her virginity, we talked non stop all day and shared our whole lives with eachother. Now I just feel lonely and want a girlfriend but I know I'm not ready for one and won't settle for anything less. I need to cope with this and I have a history of depression and haven't felt like this since my junior year of high school
Okay just saying that I have hooked up with other girls since our break up, partied throughout the summer, love my summer Job, worked out and lost 30 pounds but I just still feel lonely at night. I know it's never gonna work out, I've accepted it. I just don't know how to cope with her trying to talk to my friends and trying to make me jealous. I still love her and would like to be on good terms but all she wants to do is ruin my life and everything new in it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I had these mixed feelings after my breakup. This resulted in me still having contact, including sex with her despite breaking up. This went on for several months. And I was too wrapped up to see that I was leading her on. Trust me, if you have made a decision, stick with it brother. It will be better for both of you in the long te and will allow you to move on

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What Girls Said 3

  • Focus on everything else that means your future and pay no attention to her and I mean zero, then she'll be sorry

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  • Well you need to talk to her. I know--clique... And you probably don't want to. But really, please do. Why? I'll tell you why. If you don't, you'll have the lingering questions. Oh yes the questions. When you've had a few drinks, feel lonely, or when you're driving through town on a quiet afternoon, you will think of her. You'll wonder if it could have worked. You'll wonder if you made the right choice.

    So talk to her. Eliminate all questions. Get final confirmation that it cannot work out. Then cease contact.

    Now, if you like yourself at all, please do NOT I repeat DO NOT run to another girl. First of all, that would be treating the new girl like a Band-Aid. Secondly, you're not ready yet.

    So what should you do after you cease contact? Well, Darling, you need to focus on yourself. Be selfish. Improve yourself. Learn to be happy on your own. Then you can girl hunt. You'll be OK. I promise.

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  • block her from EVERYTHING! out of sight out of mind.

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What Guys Said 1

  • It's going to take time and maybe going out with some other girls will help ease you feeling down and thinking about her but you have to remind yourself why it won't work with her anymore and try to move on , you'll meet plenty of girls in college

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