Should I let go of someone I love in order to live my dreams?

My boyfriend of 2.5 years and I went on a break which began 2 months ago. We want to live in completely different places and have a different lifestyle. He is also nowhere near ready to think about having a family and I would like to be with someone more stable. I'm ready to take the steps needed to have the adult life I dream of- as in living in a certain kind of home so my future children will have a certain type of childhood with nature and roadtrips and camping. He wants to live in the city and doesn't see himself ever moving where I like and if he does he says it will be in a long time- but no guarantee he ever would. So we met to say goodbye yesterday. The problem is that seeing him after so long only reminded me of how much of a great person he is, how nice, emotionally intelligent, logical... and I left that meeting feeling worse than ever. I really, really, really miss him and love him. I couldn't stop crying. Now I feel like I can barely remember how things got to this point in the first place... before the break we were arguing more and I was avoiding sexual contact with him without being completely sure about why and I felt like the romance and the spark and maybe even the love had died. Now that seems so far away and I find myself desperately trying to cling to some drop of hope that we could work this out. But I have already asked him so many times for ways we could compromise the situation and it's just too complex for that and there are more layers to it than what I can type here... but basically it seems like nothing can change right now and I would just go back to the same thing. I would have to sacrifice on the life I had wanted and have to find a way to be happy in the city... I feel like I almost know that isn't the right thing to do but I also feel like it's crazy to just let go of a great relationship... Should I just let it go? Is it normal for it to hurt this badly?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You sound like a country girl and he's a city boy. The two generally have little in common for long term relationships. No matter where you live, one of you will feel you have to compromise just to make the other happy. Over time, that can turn to resentment toward the other.

    Is it normal to feel this bad? Yup! BUT that feeling does go away over time. IF... you can find a guy with whom you have common interests, you're on your on the way toward your desires. In life, there are no guarantees (except taxes and death). Do what your heart desires!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Wait, what? You dumped a great guy because you don't want to live in a city? Hahahahaha oh God! I guess saying "Things are made to be used, people to be loved. The world is so fucked up because people use people, and things are being loved". I'm sorry but I think your reason for breaking up was very irrational.

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What Guys Said 1

  • It amazes me how women value long term relationships and then this stuff happens

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