I don't know what to do? my parents may be splitting up? how will we afford to live?

i'm panicking right now. because my mom and dad just had a huge screaming match. long story short, and my mom wants to leave (she can't really). or my dad will leave us with the house. my mom doesn't work so she won't be able to pay for the mortgage all by herself. i'm so scared we'll be homeless. we can't live with family or friends because they all live miles away. i don't know how we'll even pay for car insurance. i just got off school break, but now i'm looking for 3rd shift jobs... i could probably get one. but i don't have a credit score. my bro gets SS but it's only $400 a month.

i don't know where we'll live. my dad drinks 2-3 times a week. he doesn't get drunk but he'll have rages. my mom has always put up with it. but i'm scared that if he leaves he'll come back and start screaming at everyone or do something even worse. if he leaves i'll have to get the locks changed i guess. I don't know where he'll live either. if the mortgage goes under his credit will be ruined too.

we could get an apartment eventually i guess. but it will take months for me to get my own credit score, so what can we do?
i just feel like vomiting. my whole body feels like ice.
i'm also scared because they both have health conditions. my mom has anxiety issues and my dad has heart and neck issues. my dad almost fainted lots of times and his blood pressure went up to 160-170 quite a few times. i don't want either of them to end up on disability or die because of all this stress and screaming. things are calmer now, but i'm sure they'll scream later.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Assuming the worst case (or best case if they're just not right for each other) and they split up, remember that you are a grown adult now. Many people your age in similar positions hold a job and go to college on their own, so paying for a roof over your head is not impossible.

    When money is tight, it will mean that you cannot afford to live the life you're accustomed to, but you can afford to live nonetheless. This may mean renting a home that has fewer bedrooms than there are people, and someone will need to sleep in the living room. College students sometime cram together and I've seen 4 people living in a 1-bedroom apartment, so it's not impossible, although uncomfortable.

    Keep in mind that this is not the end of the world. Millions of other people encounter the similar life issues and they come out just fine. They do not shrivel and die in a corner. When life gets tough, people become resourceful and creative and find ways to get by. They usually end up stronger in the end, realizing they can endure more hardship than they realized they could.

    • of course, i'm going to get a 3rd shift job really soon. i just don't have a credit score yet.

    • and i may have to help support my mom and bro anyway. I don't know yet.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Divorce is hard on everyone in the family especially on your parents. You had nothing to do with the divorce. As far as your concern about being homeless: you won't be.. your mom and dad will figure out how to make it on their own as weltheir finding a place to live.. I think you should step back from the situation and let your parents deal with it and figure everything out. It's not your role or obligation to finance your family. As a mom who went through a divorce.. I was left with nothing but Mom's have a way of making it work out. try not to stress about the issues/worries you have.. Jus let your parents figure it out. Take 1 day at time n try not to think about all the "what if's"

    • i don't mind helping. i'm mostly worried about dealing with the credit and moving somewhere else.

    • Show All
    • Yes, I lost the house and gave it to my ex but only because I wanted out of the marriage. I'd never lived on my own and was very scared and worried about how I was going to support my self n children.. I ended up renting a place and things just worked themselves out.

    • i'm really happy it worked out for you and your kids!!

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What Guys Said 3

  • I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this crap at a young age. Your dad is declaring he finds booze more attractive than his wife and kids and for that I'll label him a douche.

    The end-game here? The house will probably have to be sold and your dad will have to guarantee the rent for you and your mom at an apartment. Your mom should get a good attorney now.

    • thank you. but they're breaking up because my dad wants to get a new car, but my mom doesn't want the loan because they can barely pay the bills now.

    • but yes, i will research a lot.

    • I don't think the problem is your dad wanting a new car. That is actually a symptom of a much greater problem. Your parents seem to have some hefty financial problems, likely a mixture of raising kids, while not making enough money for their job, or spending too much - or beyond their income allows. This is also the result of poor spending habits and lack of restraint in making good decisions - as indicated by your dad wanting to buy a new car (why not a slightly used one, or one that simply operates but looks like crap?).

      The years of financial strain have probably sapped out all romance in the relationship, and all that remains is arguments over disagreements - including financial spending.

      Hopefully, you don't pick up these habits. Your best bet is to separate yourself from this in some manner rather than getting dragged into this financial black hole. You could spend your entire life paying back the bad mistakes your parents made.

  • As a child (well your adult age but since you still live at home) you do nothing and let the grown folks take care it and hope it works itself out. Don't pick sides support both of them. Divorce is hard on everyone and messy.

    • i'll help pay bills. but i'm so scare we'll be homeless. with no credit what can we do?

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    • You would get in trouble. Even if your Dad leaves he is still entitled to come in the home as he along with your mother are owners of the home. Just call the police if things get toxic.

    • i see. thanks for telling me.

  • Go talk to your dad that you need him with you and that you don't want him to get a car. He will listen.


What Girls Said 1

  • well they are going the right thing by splitting up if it's that bad. Maybe tell your mum to get a job and sell the house which will leave you with some money to buy a cheaper house so that you have some left over. through the divorce your mum will be entitled to half of what your dad has if they didn't sign a prenup before they got married. you will survive through it, this happens everyday. just a few sacrifices may need to be made in order to save money

    • they're splitting because my dad wants to get a new car, but my mom doesn't want the loan because they can barely pay the bills now. i'm pretty sure they don't have a prenup... but i've heard before that unemployed spouses don't get 1/2.

      i'm going to work as much as possible. but my mom only wants an online job. she's not disabled or anything, I don't know why she won't work in person.

    • Show All
    • yeah, she doesn't want to work at all. my dad has a huge spending habit. so i think, that she thinks if she works he'll feel more comfortable to do that. but either way i'm getting a 3rd shift job asap.

    • but if the divorce follows through, i do think the best bet is selling the house and using that money to rent or buy something smaller whilst your mum works to pay bills, which will not be very high since the house would be smaller and less people in it

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