Regardless of the fact that I am a man, I am just curious as to why I behave the way I do now. I was in a relationship with a toxic woman for a little over a year and I loved her to death for whatever reason. Well anyway, I broke up with her because she cheated on me. Now this is what gets me thinking... before meeting her I was so outgoing and flirty towards every woman I thought to be attractive and succeeded in my attempts most of the time. I was truly happy within myself and I didn't have one ounce of doubt in my body. Presently, I feel like I am shy when it comes to women and I don't even make attempts to talk to women anymore as much as I use to. Where did my personality go? Why do I have 0 interest in trying to date these beautiful women? Why does this woman who cheated on me still linger in my mind from time to time after a year. A woman can literally try to talk to me and I just feel like "why are you talking to me" no matter how beautiful she is. So with that said, is it true that you really do change after heartbreak? Are you really never the same?
Most Helpful Girl
I think it's inevitable , pain changes everyone! Personally, heartbreak has defined who i have become. I belive i am stronger now, but strength only means... how well you hide the pain. I'm a very guarded person now , and i tend not to trust like i used to. I'm single right now, and my heart is on reserve for the right person... if i ever find him. I'd rather be patient and wait than to settle for just anyone.
I can't pinpoint a time when i changed, my personality gradually changed over time. I like who i have become, but there's times i miss the laidback, hapy-go -lucky , trusting person i used to be.1
Most Helpful Guy
I feel you, bro! And this kind of change in behaviour is not as uncommon as we believe.
When my ex cheated on me and I dumped her, these were her words "If you break up with me, it's your loss. A gorgeous girl like me can easily find another guy, but an average looking guy like you would never find someone like me again".
I don't know if I was actually affected by her words. This was pretty long back. After that, I was just involved in one rebound, which obviously failed. Have been single for over 5 years now. But my self confidence, until recently was at an all-time low. I feel too unattractive and undesirable, and have been stuck with the notion that every woman in the world will reject me, so I never tried approaching women these past 5 years (except once, when I got rejected as expected).
I have slowing begun regaining my confidence, but I have no idea if and when I can actually approach women again. I'm intimidated by them, and have developed a morbid fear of rejection. :(2