Girls, would this hurt you?

I went out with this girl for about 2-3 months, we broke up. She said she had something to show me so she sent me of a manga picture she drew of me and her... she said it was our first memory and she found it funny and touching as I was falling asleep on her shoulder sat up. She said she only wanted to share this with me as this was how she came to liking me more than a friend. I didn't know what to say to it so I didn't reply until the next day in which I said to her "we were friends with benefits and nothing more".
She told me at beginning that her last relationship before me ended 3 years ago and he was abusive, she has a small dent on her forehead where her ex threw her into a door hinge and I saw faded scars on her back when she got changed.

I just wanted to say we were friends with benefits it so she didn't have any hopes of us getting back together. She didn't respond but her friend has told me she won't talk to anyone. Have I hurt her? Was I being too harsh?
We were boyfriend and girlfriend and I was in it for more than just sex.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, her feelings were hurt.
    But I applaud you for being honest.
    She'll get over the temporary hurt.
    But she probably wouldn't get over you adding salt to her wound. What I mean by that is if , you were deceptive and pretended that you liked her and she found out that was never true.
    That would do twice as much damage.

    To everything in life comes disappointment.
    She has to take that... because its a part of life.
    Show your concern by messaging her.
    Hopefully she'll reply back.
    If she doesn't let her know you'll be there.
    Let her know she's a great person but you're not at the time or place where you want anything more.

    • Don't feel bad. You did the right thing. I do not believe you were harsh at all.

      Lying about the way you feel, would have been much worse in my opinion.

    • Show All
    • I asked you the same question numerous amounts of times. And you still haven't answered. Why did you tell that lie in the first place?

    • To hurt her.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I thought you went out with her, so why would you tell her you two were friends with benefits? Of course I would be hurt if a guy I liked didn't return my feelings and if you didn't make it clear to her that all you wanted was casual sex, then you screwed up. You even knew about her past, so that response was just cruel...

    • We did go out (both boyfriend and girlfriend) and I did like her, even loved her. I just said we were friends with benefits to hurt her.

    • Mission accomplished, I guess

  • Yes that was way too harsh

    • Is there anyway to take back what I said

    • Tell her you didn't mean it I'd say. I don't know if she'll believe you but if it is the truth then tell her.

    • Her best friend just messaged me telling me to stay away from her. So I'm going to take the initiative and back off.

  • If you told her from the very beginning before the first time you guys had sex she shouldn't be wishing for more. It sounds like somewhere down the line she was wishing you'd change or the sex was great you'd have a indifferent mindset. You're not being too harsh on her in my opinion, you did her a favour, honesty. She should not be having the 'friends with benefits" to begin with if she gets attached over time. It's not for everyone.

    • But we were together... geez read the update people!!!

    • The first line of itself said we went out for 2-3 months!! Ffs

    • 'went out' is not the same thing as 'relationship'. it's like saying we were 'hanging out' there's a difference. If you actually were in a committed relationship for 2-3 months than you fucked up. You later on expressed 'we were friends with benefits' maybe you just don't have your shit together. Be direct and cut if you yourself can't label the relationship properly. "ffs"

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