Rebound after long term relationship (drugs)?


I'm trying to keep it short. I don't know what I wanna hear.. nice words, a bit of hope, or just opinions.

5 year relationship, ended a month ago. Just 3 weeks after it ended he (A) Jumped into a new relationship with the ex (L) of one of his mates (C). That happened 2 weeks ago. (C) is furious about it because its something like a double betrayal for him.
About our relationship: it was all fine, we got along really good. But 4 months ago (C) introduced his girlfriend (L) and her friends to (A), all of them started hanging out, every weekend. it turned into partying every weekend and doing drugs. I told him that he's changing into negative (energy just for partying, financial problems, forgets about important stuff) and that i think it has to do with the people he's hanging out with.

He was on vacation with his friends, told me that he loves me and is looking forward to see me again (he was the first who wrote this, he was even the first who called me while he was away) but i ended it a few days after the vacation was over because i was so fed up about the whole situation of him acting so young and dumb. Before my decision He acted up because i mentioned it again how he's changing and he immediately had the feeling i would accuse him being an addict even though i didn't even say anything close to it.
I ended it and he was ok with that, said that it would be the best cause he doesn't want me to bother with his stuff.
After that he started hanging out a lot with these girls. During that time (L) and (C) splitted up too. (C) reached out to me now, told me that they're together now and some things i didn't knew before like (L) and my ex (A) buying weed together cause she has some connections and he always was the one who brought something when all of them met or (L)'s friends being all about partying, doing drugs. (C) said that him and and another friend of my ex stopped with weed cause it was nothing special to them. So the wh
Ok i just realized that part 2 of the story is missing
Added the rest of the story RasmusAikens comment


Most Helpful Guy

  • First off I'm proud of you for breaking up with him. I know it can be hard to leave someone you care about over drugs. I had to do the same before. And how it was with my ex was she started to go partying and do drugs and things so i had to leave her. Honestly the best thing you can do is talk to, maybe even flirt a bit with another guy. Don't hook up or anything just talk to help blow some steam and get your mind off things. That's what really helped me. If you have a male friend you feel comfortable talking with that's what you should do. If you don't message me and we can talk, or message me if you have any questions or need help. I'd be happy to try :)

    • Leaving someone I love behind is something that tears me apart. But I realized I had no other choice. Mine is the same. He did party before but not in a such excessive way like he does it now. And all because of those girls. They call him and he jumps. He even goes out on weekdays even though he has to get up early on the next day for work. This is ridiculous.

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    • Thank you, unfortunately I can't send you a message.

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What Guys Said 1

  • He needs time to grow up. Move on to find a guy you can depend on.

    • Thanks for your answer. I'm moving on, i have no other choice. But all of this bothers me cause it's so weird an unusual. Unfortunately a huge part of the text is missing

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    • Part 3: So I don't know who came up with that idea. What I know is that my ex and me actually planned a vacation/weekend trip in September so I do assume that this was his idea. And he's talking about how he wants to go the same university like her and study the same that she does even though he applied for another university.

      Seriously, i feel like i'm in tv show.
      To me all of this is rather amusing than hurting and actually every of my theories turned out to be true (destroying friendships bc of relationships, i warned him about that) and Maybe that's not what i should have done but i even dared to say that he's going to face a downgrade with his next girlfriend, either from the inner aspects or the outer aspects. And well, her behaviour speaks volumes and in terms of looks she's totally different. From what C said, she's very egocentric, immature and wants it all her way. She also tends to have blackouts where she totally freaks out and does strange things.

    • Last part: And she doesn't know when to stop. I know that my ex, before he changed, absolutely didn't prefer this kind of people. I know that he valued mature people, with a big heart, teamplayers, discpline and he doesn't like drama. He prefers a certain type of woman and i know how much he admired me and my features. Looks are important to him too and C told me that at the very beginning he wanted to hear my ex opinion about his girlfriend and he said that she's cool but he doesn't like how she looks.

      Did somebody experienced the same? I know I should move on and im moving on but some things are just.. Ugh.
      Do you think that the drugs play a huge role in that story?

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