Dealing with a break up we both knew was coming from the start?

I just feel so weird right now... I just 'broke up' with my girlfriend or 10 months, but the thing is we both knew this was going to happen. Basically because of moving and school and jobs, we knew we would both be going LDR perminantly at this time. I don't think either of us think it could be any way and breaking up truly was for the best, but I still just feel... I don't know. I keep asking myself why we created this legitemate relationship and allowed ourselves to get so attached, but we knew it would end fromt he start. I think I am siding with no regrets, happy with how it all happened, but I still feel like crying or something, which I have not done in years...

Any tips to help or words of encrouragement woudl be great thanks. :)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • LDR is One of the Hardest Ones to Have and to Uphold of Any here, dear. It takes two special people to Take the time and the patience to make the Effort to Keep Everything From... Keep asking myself.
    It was Obviously meant for you Both to share the trials and tribulations of this love that may or even now will not last. It may Not be Totally over because along some fine line of love, the Love may not be lost, you both may find you are Missing the Kissing and Continue trying to Act Out... Two to tango and tangle again. It's not over until the fat lady sings.
    I am myself, currently in A LDR Marriage with a man from Egypt whom I left back in Cairo a few years ago. I came back to the states and with on and of again, Breakups and Makeups, it is always a Full circle problem pattern of Here today and Gone... Tomorrow with all sorts of sorrow.
    If anything and it never ever does materialize again, my friend, perhaps friends til the end would be a best bet, should nothing else come out of a love that was really never meant to be but just as a Life lesson of something that many people were never lucky enough to even tell about.
    You do feel Relief on one end, 'No regrets,' and on Another sad note, you feel Like... Crying or something.
    Good luck. xx

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    • When we first got together we decided there was no chance of taking this to an LDR. I am going home after a year abroad and she is starting uni for three years in a week. We knew neither of us we LDR types and it would be pointless because neither was going to move countries realistically. I was just really taken back by how much she has come to mean with me and how much I will miss her, I always told myself I knew what was happening so it will be okay...

      Sounds like a tough relationship, but good for you for maintaining it somehow! I know I don't have that kind of courage...

    • I understand, believe me... For me, we thought I might live over in Egypt but with the Middle East so bad and sad by the minute, I am not too interested in taking up house over there. Getting hIm here is difficult, youhave to meet certain criteria but we always left it all in Our own God's hands, BreakingUp and MakingUp.
      I know it isn't for everyone, it is better sometimes to have someone closer to home but sometimes too That person isn't as close to your heart and the memories just make you fall apart. xx

    • Thank you, sweetie, for the Vote of Confidence. xxoo

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What Girls Said 2

  • I honestly doubt that you "knew" that it's gonna end. No one knows anything, we don't predict the future. We just follow our feelings at the moment. And at that moment you liked each other too much to not "believe" that you're meant to be and that you're gonna close the distance. There is always that "maybe". I know because I was with my ex for 3 years in a LDR and despite everything, we were still constantly hoping and trying to close the distance. No one likes being in a distance relationship, it's just a "bump on the road" that couples either overcoming it or don't, depending on how strong their feelings are, and how strong, patient and both mentally and emotionally stable as an individual. LDR's are not for everyone. And it always takes two. I hate when people start blaming distance - it's just a nice excuse for not being compatible with your partner. If it was true love, and both sided, it would overcome the distance, simple as that. Going into such a relationship demands a lot of hard work and commitment, and it should always be think through. Rushing into is without thinking through it is very stupid and immature. You gotta accept from the start that no matter how good or bad or hard this relationship is to maintain right now, it's still not a real relationship and you still haven't experienced it until you move next to each other. It's more like a big crush for someone far away. Every LDR ends, either with breakup, or with closing the distance. And what keeps it going is the goal of making it real and fear of "what if". Then when you do close the distance, that's when the real relationship starts and that's when you figure out if you want that person or not. People who end LDR's usually get stuck in "what if" for a long time, if not forever.

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    • well, when we first got together we decided we would not take this to an LDR. She is starting uni the fall for three years, and I am going back to my home country (I was abroad for a year). Neither one of us felt like moving for the other, it was meant to be just fun. Plus we both know we aren't the types for LDRs.

      I was just taken back by how much we had come to mean to each other and regardless of how fun it is and what we decided going into it, just spending that much time with someone intimately can have an effect I guess..

      SO I guess we never let ourselves even consider maybe, I am not so much upset over it being over, or not trying to go LDR, just... miss her a lot, she meant a lot to me.

  • Everything happens for a reason be happy that it happened :) dont regret anything

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