My boyfriend of 10 month just left me for an ex girlfriend I don't understand?

He told me that every moment since we met has been great. But since this person came back into his life 2 weeks ago he can't stop thinking of her and he was not being fair to me. He had taking some time to decide what he was going to do and that it was a hard decision to make to leave me. He said I was so good to him and a great girlfriend. I dont get if everthing was so amazing why leave? They broke up previously because she moved away and has now moved back. So two weeks of having her around again and everthing the we had is not good enough anymore? We were almost at the one year mark. Is there really another girl or is this just commiment issues?

  • Should I just move on with my life?
    Vote A
  • Should I give it time and see what happens?
    Vote B
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I guess it is just hard to believe that we were best friends and got along so well, talked about everything, never fighting, it was always good. Why would he give it all up so easily? Plus he was more romantic the last two times we saw each other before he dumped me. Why bother being like that if he was planning on ditching me?
I guess I should not hold on to hope he will change his mind. All my friends and family thought we were a perfect fix, and he told me that himself. Part of me wants to write a letter to tell him how I feel. He was my best friend, I know him so well. I am not angry, I want him to be happy, I just wish he had talked to me and not hit me with a brick that I didn't see coming. Is sending a letter a bad idea?

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  • You should move on with your life.

    Your ex. boyfriend's decision doesn't involve anything you have done,
    so please do not blame yourself.
    You could have had him floating on clouds in pure ecstasy, and he still would have left you?
    Why?
    Because he was never over his ex. in the first place.
    Sometimes, when people aren't over their ex. they enter into relationships in hopes of thinking that existing relationship will help them get over that person quicker.
    In fact, it never really does and only adds salt to the wounds.
    If given the opportunity to be back with that person, they wouldn't hesitate or think twice about it.
    Your ex. boyfriend pretty much used you as the rebound girl.
    It may not have been intentional... but it doesn't change the fact that he did it.
    He didn't give himself time to get over his ex.
    He entered into the relationship never getting over her.
    He may have cared about you, but he was never ready to fully love another.
    His actions speak louder than his words.

    I know you are hurt.
    But never put your life on hold for someone... who would never do the same for you.
    Move on.
    Carry your pride and dignity with you.
    Do not blame yourself.
    You didn't cause him to do this... and you didn't deserve it.
    You seem like a great girl.
    Any guy who has you... would be lucky!
    It's too bad he was too clouded to see what he had before him.

    <3
    Best wishes!

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What Guys Said 3

  • You deserve better i can't see how guys can do them things to girls it just makes no sense

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  • forget it... his ex girl will move out again and he will try to come back to you.. then his ex-girl will move back in and he will again leave you for it... So, dont even bother going back to him... im a guy, i know how the guy's mind works.. So, please look for someone else who will be truthful to you and love you unconditionally.

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  • Literally the same thing happened to me. They've been together 3 months now. I say send out your feelings just to clear the air and say there are no hard feelings and then walk away. When that relationship crashes and burns you'll be able to laugh. I'm about to do the same :(

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What Girls Said 4

  • You found out a Hard sad and bad way, @lovescats, that the ghost of yesterday was still in thecozy closet, with no closure to your soul mate, who was Actually a 'Best friend,' and Now in the End... This person came back into his life 2 weeks ago...
    She probably was on his mind from time to time, and with her having 'Moved away.' his thoughts of this skeleton that is rattling your chains and rattled his from a far, came back to Haunt you both and the amazing relationship you both had.
    He most likely cared and respected you enough to want it to work. But being she floated back from nowhere and the carrot went dangling over his velvet nose, he fell for it and she got him back in her saddle once more. He didn't think enough of your relationship with him because she and he had more history together and go way back.
    One thing I do know and that you can never trust him again. Should he ever give you a shout, tell him you have Moved on and to please take Care... It's over and you're not going to keep playing games with a back and forth deal of going down Memory lane with perhaps her again or if he decides to pick a bone with another. Even now, he is just this Fair weather friend.
    Good luck. xx

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  • I'm sorry for you but it sounds like he tried to move on because she was literally out of his reach and he thought, I've gotta get on with my life.

    The really telling part is that she's been back two weeks and he's already confused about his life. Sadly, even though this a really tough and difficult situation, you will have to let him go off and do whatever he wants.

    Even if he begs you to take him back, don't because she will always be the spectre in the background.

    I give him kudos for being upfront with you about it but you now need to find the strength of move totally away from him. Really hard situation though.

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  • Move on. He doesn't take your love seriously since he left you for his ex.

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  • You will always be his second choice if you wait around. You were filling in the gap until she got back. If she had cheated or hurt him I would say you have a chance but if all she did was move... I would say move on.

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