I want to write a letter to my ex telling him how I feel is this a good idea?

When he broke up with me I was stunned and could hardly talk. I didn't see any of this coming. We had a romantic weekend a few days before and two days later he was leaving me for someone else. I never got to say what I wanted to say. We were best friends and now he is just gone. I feel that I should have some voice even if the letter is not replied too.

  • Should I write the letter for closure and not send it?
    Vote A
  • Should I write the letter and send it?
    Vote B
  • Should I not write one at all?
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • You may choose any of the above. If you do write/send a letter realize that it probably won't have much of an effect on him. He has moved on.

    One possible benefit it that it may have a positive effect on you in being better able to leave behind this sad chapter of your life.

    In my own life I have turned to writing a letter to Myself in times of life crises. (Loss of a relationship, death, change of job.) I look back at old letters and realize how much I've grown or I have seen the blessing in having endured difficult change.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Same happened to me, but my ex didn't dump me for someone else, he dumped me just to be alone. He never gave me a real reason, didn't even want to meet face to face, he dumped me over Skype. That happened 6 months ago and I'm still not over him. However, I don't blame him anymore. He did what he needed to do the only way he knew how to do it. I learned that not everyone can be the way I am, simply because we have different experiences and mindset.

    I thought about sending him a letter as well, many times. I always got the urge to write down everything I feel and think, but then I just give up because it's too hard. I finally decided to do it a week ago. I wrote a "letter" 5 pages long. Cried my soul out on it. When I finished it I felt so good. It's really a masterpiece lol, I could be writer. But then I realized that there is no point in sending it. It doesn't matter if he knows or not how I feel, I shouldn't think about how he feels and thinks anymore. It's only me now. I think he knows how I feel anyways, and I think he is aware of much damage he left me with, so no need to remind him. He moved on, he doesn't miss me, he doesn't think about me, he is happier now on his own - and I should do the same.

    That letter was just for me and I don't think I'm gonna read it again anytime soon. But I'm glad I wrote it, I might write another one when I get to feel differently. It's definitely a good way of releasing the emotions. If one day he asks me how I've been doing all this time (if he really seems interested in knowing) then I might send him that. But I doubt that will ever happen. I recommend that you write it but don't send it. Maybe you too won't have the desire to send it anymore.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I agree, a letter is a good way to speak your mind

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  • write it now, but wait a few days and only then consider sending it!
    best way imo!
    you write it full of emotion and you can judge with a clear head if you should send it or not

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What Girls Said 2

  • It'll only over dramatise it.. I advice against doing that..

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  • Same here... My ex dumped me out of the blue, and a few weeks later I realized it was to be with someone else, a girl he met a couple of months before breaking up with me. I did not see it coming either. I loved him dearly... He left me in a very delicate time of my life, amplyfing enormously the struggle I was already going trough.
    Figuratively, I was paralyzed. I think had to process what happened and use all the energy I had to survive the intense heartbreak he gave me. Also, I was so disappointed, I would have never ever expected something so low from him - so much deception and selfishness... I could not believe it! And he shows off like the "good guy." I never got the chance to say anything - the only time I saw him I just could not stop crying. It took me months to recover.
    I thought about writing him a very last heartfelt letter, but I always postponed. I realized no letter could effectively explain what he put me through... even assuming he was the most empathic individual on earth! Also, what was I trying to achieve? Having him back, most likely. I realized that the letter would not have made a difference anyway - he already moved on. And frankly, although I still had feelings for him, deep down inside me I knew it was over - hard to trust again someone that backstabbed me like this. Sure, I could have written and send it for closure. But then I realized I had to find real closure inside me. No need to tell him how horrible, selfish, and manipulative he had been... teaching him how to be a better person, for his benefit and his new girlfriend's? No thanks. I gave him already enough.
    I don't know if I did the right thing. But somehow I feel I will have the chance to say what I have to say one day... my "revenge". Sixth sense. Right now, I wait patiently.

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