- Should I write the letter for closure and not send it?
- Should I write the letter and send it?
- Should I not write one at all?
Most Helpful Guy
You may choose any of the above. If you do write/send a letter realize that it probably won't have much of an effect on him. He has moved on.
One possible benefit it that it may have a positive effect on you in being better able to leave behind this sad chapter of your life.
In my own life I have turned to writing a letter to Myself in times of life crises. (Loss of a relationship, death, change of job.) I look back at old letters and realize how much I've grown or I have seen the blessing in having endured difficult change.
Most Helpful Girl
Same here... My ex dumped me out of the blue, and a few weeks later I realized it was to be with someone else, a girl he met a couple of months before breaking up with me. I did not see it coming either. I loved him dearly... He left me in a very delicate time of my life, amplyfing enormously the struggle I was already going trough.
Figuratively, I was paralyzed. I think had to process what happened and use all the energy I had to survive the intense heartbreak he gave me. Also, I was so disappointed, I would have never ever expected something so low from him - so much deception and selfishness... I could not believe it! And he shows off like the "good guy." I never got the chance to say anything - the only time I saw him I just could not stop crying. It took me months to recover.
I thought about writing him a very last heartfelt letter, but I always postponed. I realized no letter could effectively explain what he put me through... even assuming he was the most empathic individual on earth! Also, what was I trying to achieve? Having him back, most likely. I realized that the letter would not have made a difference anyway - he already moved on. And frankly, although I still had feelings for him, deep down inside me I knew it was over - hard to trust again someone that backstabbed me like this. Sure, I could have written and send it for closure. But then I realized I had to find real closure inside me. No need to tell him how horrible, selfish, and manipulative he had been... teaching him how to be a better person, for his benefit and his new girlfriend's? No thanks. I gave him already enough.
I don't know if I did the right thing. But somehow I feel I will have the chance to say what I have to say one day... my "revenge". Sixth sense. Right now, I wait patiently.