Guys-is he right? Am I crazy?

Hello everyone,

I was seeing this guy for a while in my first casual "relationship"until I finally realized this guy was never going to "be ready for a relationship" (go figure). I stopped talking to him for a while and he reached out to me saying how much he missed me and he started being different i. e. actually taking me out, starting conversations, hinting that he was now seeing me exclusively and how he was now excited for the future. I believed him and after a while accepted to go on a weekend get away.

When we were planning the trip, he started to show how selfish he is. He even asked me to wear a cheeky bikini bottom "for his pleasure" and emphasized how this wasn't much to ask for, I had to please him and how I couldn't ruin the pull party for him by wearing a regular bikini. I didn't want to wear what he wanted me to and I picked a bathing suit with a modest bottom. When he saw how it looked on me two days before the trip, he became upset. Wanting to avoid his nagging, I told him we could go choose one together, but not after expressing that he was making me regret the trip and how I hated the idea of wearing something so revealing. EVERY suit I tried on was "too high school" or "looked too much like pampers" when my butt was bare.

We left and did not pick one. He suggested we just buy one when we got to our destination. I agreed despite the fact I did not want to wear what he picked out. While I drove him home, he was in deep thought and when I dropped him off, he got out of my car saying "we wasted time shopping and he hates wasting time". Seconds later after I take off, he texted me calling off the trip... saying he is no longer interested in going with me because asking me to wear that suit was "not too much to ask for" and I was not willing to please him. He made sure I knew *I* ruined the trip and how *I* let the suit become a big deal. *I* overreacted.

I keep telling myself I did nothing wrong... but his words haunt me. Was his behavior normal?

Updates:
*pool

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nah not wanting to wear something seems like a reasonable thing. I don't know why it was so important to him tbh

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well if he wants that specific style bikini he can wear it! WTF? Demanding you to feel uncomfortable just for his pleasure... tjeeesss.

    Good it's over.. be very happy he showed his true controlling nature. What kind of human demands another human a certain outfit they absolutely don't feel comfortable in. That's oppression. Like how Saudi Arabia (and a few other 'Muslim countries' demand all women, whether their religious or not, to be covered from head to toe. That BS doesn't fly with me either.

    And than he wants to make you feel bad about yourself. PUHLEAZE! That's an old trick pathetic people use.

    You did nothing wrong woman. How can you even THINK that?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • He had control issues. I guarantee you that it would have been a bad relationship. You never want a deep relationship with someone who has to control everything, even what you wear. That would be really emotionally taxing for you.

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  • What is done is done but you should not have made a big deal as well and just wore what you liked. Try talking to him. Don't apologize in fact don't mention you wanted to talk about it. But do talk to him and I am sure it was not a big deal.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I always want my guys opinion on the bathing suits I buy and want it to turn him on but I have to feel comfortable wearing it in the first place. Sounds like he has control issues. I'd walk away.

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  • What the hell! He is obviously trying to treat you like his personal monkey or clown. A guy whom is genuinely interested in a female will not dictate what she wears. He is a jerk, don't feel bad for anything and cut him off?

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  • He talked about himself in the third person?
    I'm glad you didn't go and wear something in which you'd have felt uncomfortable. Sorry to say I think he's not worth it...

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