My ex is not a cheater nor a liar, but the feelings won't stop bothering me?

My ex boyfriend and I broke up for personal reasons after 2 years of being together (I broke it off) a little over a week ago. We talked yesterday and came to the agreement that we might be able to make things work. It was an awkward subject, but we asked if the other was already dating or trying to see other people and we both said no. He had told me that he downloaded a dating app to try and get his mind off of me, but that he wasn't actively trying to find someone else. I (having been cheated on and lied to countlessly in other relationships) wasn't sure of his response, so I got on that app and saw that he was "online now". I don't know how he can say that he's not trying to pursue any other girls yet he's on that app. Being that we're not together I don't really have a say in what he does, but it upset me that he was even on that app after we had talked about potentially getting back together. I've always loved him and trusted him because he is a very genuine and loyal person, and I trust everything he tells me. he's never given me a reason to doubt him. I'm now second-guessing getting back with him because of seeing him on that app. He told me he had it, and he also told me he wasn't trying to get with girls... so if that's the case then why have it and why be on it? Him cheating or being disloyal was never an issue im just afraid that because of this breakup our relationship will have new problems (possibly even those), as much as I don't want to believe it. Should I be concerned about this or is it possible he will delete them when we get back together?
Delete the app**


Most Helpful Guy

  • I believe in second chances. You should not worry and just get back together.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, the fact that he told you about the app at all earned trust in my book. You are broken up, he didn't have to tell you anything at all. I think what he meant is that he gets on and looks and perhaps chats, but had no intentions of meeting up to this point? That's my guess.

    Anyway, the real question should be, have those issues that caused the break up in the first place, resolved? If not, then you shouldn't get back together. If so, I don't see his dating app as a reason to stop you. Unless however, he keeps getting on it once you're back together.

    • You're right. I'm just so used to guys lying and stuff it just really bothered me, but you're right that him even saying anything about it was a reason to trust him. And yeah I'm trying to resolve those issues now, and I guess until then he can really do whatever he wants, right? Like as long as we aren't together, even if we have the intentions of getting back together maybe, he still has the right to talk to other girls and maybe even go on dates with them until I "make up my mind"? ( I hate to say it like that but that's ultimately the situation)

    • He does have the right to do so, yes. But, relationships and feelings aren't "fair." If you don't want to date him anymore because he's dating other people and that turns you off, you also have the right to do so. Follow your gut, it will all work out.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • No, sweetie, Old habits never really die and the day you even get back together as two birds of a fine feather, this bird will be flapping and flirting some time down a fine line, no matter the reason.
    He may be missing the kissing and some his and her history But... If he really cared about Only You, he would Not be on There right now when he knows there is a chance for romance. Perhaps hard habits at First are hard to break.
    Perhaps he is 'Bored' but that doesn't mean Looking at other chicks to pass the time away.
    You know him as loyal, trustworthy because of what has happened to him in the past which was no blast. However, laying down some ground rules and that means Deleting 'That app' is One thing you need to be a straw boss about or tell him this Newbie relationship will go south.
    Good luck. xx

  • dont get back with him!


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