I want my ex back but I'm afraid to. What do I do?

4 months ago I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years. We started dating at the end of our junior year of high school and broke up this past summer. I was fine all summer without her, probably because I refused to talk to her. Then the last two weeks I saw her for the first time at a mutual friend's house. I tried to be nice but she was being a bitch and just being relentless to me. All she did was talk about her guy friends and how many tinder matches she had to make me jealous. I ended up leaving his house, she stopped me outside, we screamed at each other, I cried and left. I was so embarrassed and the next day she texts me at work saying all this crazy shit so I let her have it and then broke contact. She texted me like every three days for the next 3 weeks or so until just three days ago I finally talked to her. We talked on the phone for 6 hours about everything, good and bad but we never discussed getting back together. Recently I've just felt overall happier with her around. I haven't seen her though since we go to different schools but maybe this weekend. Here's the thing. When I dated her my freshmen year of college, it was terrible. I wasn't allowed to hang out with friends, she didn't trust me, I couldn't party (since our breakup I'm now pledging a frat, something she prohibited but something I always wanted to do) , my grades slipped cause she always needed to be on Skype or text or the phone and it was maddening, I had literally had breakdowns over my lack of space and freedom. Everyone would think I'm crazy for wanting her back but God damnit I miss her so much and can't ever see her being with someone else. I still love her and I always picture our future together but I'm afraid getting back together would make me suffer in school. I like having free time to do homework and party and go where I want without always having to check in. Help.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • When you enter into a relationship there needs to be sacrifice. Since you seem torn between having her in your life and the life you want for yourself , I think it's better off you stay single.
    You may miss her but you need to take this time to enjoy who you are and the opportunities you may not have if involved with her.
    When you enter into a relationship there's always rules and boundaries. Some of the things you now enjoy may have to stop because it won't be pleasing to her.
    I suggest you enjoy your College experience.
    When you are a little older and more mature , then partying , doing your own thing won't matter to you as much. You'll be ready for a girlfriend.
    Keep her at arms length.
    Let her know you still care... but mentally you are not ready.
    Understand that is ok.
    You need a time out for yourself.

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What Girls Said 4

  • oh dear... caught between the devil and the deep blue sea :(

    what if she is a nightmare when you get back together... what then?

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    • "The devil and the deep blue sea" there's a song I like called this way but I never knew its meaning.
      XYLO -"" (Skrux remix)

  • Getting back with an ex is very difficult :/
    You should try to move on and find someone else to keep your mind off your ex.

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  • Why not sit her down and try to talk to her about how you feel and set some boundaries and if she really loves you she'll be willing to compromise if not then II would go my own way if she doesn't want to compromise

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  • sounds like you should just stay single.

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