I can't stop making mistakes with my ex. What's a girl to do?

My ex and I reunited and things were going very well. I keep making mistakes, pushing boundaries and it's in turn pushing him away and I'm hurting myself. I don't want to make mistakes, I don't want to push him away, or lose him. I don't know what to do to make it better anymore. I didn't realize the extent of those boundaries and I'm just so so sorry. He told me I am frustrating him and make him out to be a bad person. I know we broke up, I know we are starting slow. Maybe I want things to go faster than they should and I don't know how to slow myself down and take a step back because of my feelings for him. I have a hard time with things not being the same as they were before as in not treating each other and boyfriend and girlfriend. It's very hard for me and I don't know why I am doing this or how to make things better.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you're rushing into it. You want things to be back to 'normal'.

    It won't happen. This should have been a new start, but it isn't. Things will fall apart again.

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    • Thank you for responding and I love your user name! ha! I don't know what to do. Every Time I try to go with the flow I then push it. You are right I do want things to go back to normal desperately so. I don't know where to go from here. I'm seeing him tomorrow for coffee and I don't know what to make him more comfortable. I feel like if he cares about me why wouldn't he want the same things I do.

    • No, that's the thing, you DON'T want things to go back to 'normal', because 'normal' is the reason why you two broke up in the first place. What you want is a clean slate.

      This desperation you have is not helping either... it's the main reason why you're rushing things.

      If you want things to run smoothly and comfortably, you need to listen to each other and what you guys want.

    • He doesn't want to feel pressure and I've definitely pressured him. Not to ignore his wants on purpose. I desperately miss the good parts of our relationship and it's different now. More distant now.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Try to slow down, try to act rationally instead of emotionally. You know what needs to be done, so don't wait do start doing it. Apologize to him and try your best to start over the right way. Everytime you realized that you're going beyond the boundaries, stop, get back. You don't wanna lose him again, do you? It's entirely up to you not to ruin it.

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    • Thank you for responding. I'm having a bit of a self control issue. I don't know what to say to explain myself or have him understand. Every time I try and explain myself, he starts to talk about where he is coming from instead. I get where he is coming from... now. I wasn't purposefully being ignorant. I really need him to understand where I am coming from as well... but don't know how to get him to really listen and understand.

    • Have you tried telling him that you understand it and then try to make him understand, maybe even not using clear words? Perhaps he'll get the message based on the "context" you are trying to explain.

  • make boundries on yourself by limiting what you do. Just go with the flow of things and tell him your going to try to change what ever is the negative thing and you would apreicate it if he tried to help you. through it

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    • Thank you for responding! That is great advice. I'm meeting him tomorrow for coffee. Each time I say I'm going to go with the flow, I push it even more. I don't know why I'm pushing so hard when I know the end result is it's making him uncomfortable and pushing him away. It took a lot for us to even get to this point.

    • Just trust him more and if things seem like they are falling apart hug him im sure if he really cares about you he's not going to care about if you give him a warning or not abou how rough it maybe. Just know he's stuck around and thats gotta say something about him.

What Girls Said 4

  • You Need to Talk Turkey to yourself, @Newgirl244, and tell yourself that you are going to lose him if you Continue down the problem pattern path you are going on.
    This guy loves you enough Unconditionally to give you another chance at romance. But everyone has their love limits.
    Go slow with his flow, nurse and nurture Any mistakes so this relationship on a roller coaster, can Begin its Beguine, of Going Smoother, no so rocky, and become healthy again.
    You also have to bear in mind that next time around you may not get so lucky. Every time you want to push his buttons, stop yourself and Pull Back and Don't... Yak.
    He loves you and You only and wants this to work. Be a team and Be a team member so you can get back to the Way we were with no over the boundary blur.
    Good luck. xx

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  • I'm in the same situation as well. I love my man very much. But things have gone wrong and pushed him away from me. The only thing u can do is learn from it and make it better in the future.

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    • What did you do to make things better? I'm pretty sure this is the last chance I have...

  • Move on the.

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  • You don't keep pushing, fall back, reevaluate the situation, put itself in his shoes. U go from 0 to 60 and the rollercoaster ride is hard to ride out if u don't slow down, back off..

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    • You are so right! I am having some serious self control issues as in no control at all! I don't know what's come over me. I feel like he doesn't understand where I am coming from. This isn't easy and each time he takes a step back I feel like he really doesn't care about me.

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    • what? He's playing me?

    • I don't know if he's playing you, I didn't mean that what I meant was not being too close to you until he sees a definite change in u.. Not just temporarily cause you might want him back. Something real I guess.

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