Guys would you still talk to your ex even if while you were together she cheated on you?

OK so my boyfriend still talks to his ex. It's been well over a year since they've been dating but he still talks to her. Even though she cheated on him he still talks to her, I guess as friends (I'm hoping).

Guys would you still talk to your ex even if while you were together she cheated on you?

It really bothers me she and him still talk, but I've already told him that and he mostly talks to her online in front of me. Should I be worried at all?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The mature thing to do is always the hardest.

    That being said, in this case the mature thing to do is to never stop smiling and talking to people, even those who betray us.Why?

    Because anger only generates more anger and even is it is hard, being confident and not showing we get affected by others is the perfect way to get your revenge.

    Imagine you cheat on someone, you will expect that he would be hurt and angry with you..that he would stop talking and even be aggressive to you.

    Now imagine that instead of that he would greet you normally with a smile like nothing happened, how would you feel?Worst than sh*t because you didn't affect him, you will think you don't matter to him :)

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What Guys Said 10

  • It's possible, but unlikely, that I would still talk to a cheating ex. Generally people who cheat on you are permanently boring and dishonest, but every once in a while it was just an isolated, stupid decision. Also, it's a (moderately) good sign that he's fairly honest about it to you. People who are planning something sinister generally strive for secrecy and will keep you as far out of the loop as possible.

    I still talk to some of my ex-gfs, and I'm not cheating on my current girlfriend and have no intention of ever doing so. It's completely understandable that you're worried about it, but it's not necessarily a bad thing! If he's a trustworthy guy, let him talk to his ex. If he's not, well, maybe this is a chance to find out sooner rather than later.

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  • I think it is more os a charthesis for him. I am sure if he is a normal person that he was really hurt by her actions. This is his way of getting rid of those feelings. He messages her in front of you. Not only does he have YOU now he can talk to this person without feeling hurt at the same time.

    Sounds to me like you found someone that reached a good level of maturity and wants to keep growing inside. harboring hatred doesn't do anyone good, only harm. He is just trying to get rid of the very last bits and peices of that past hurt and surpass it completley.

    He isn't trying to be her friend, he is trying to be his own friend and grow.

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    • Perhaps it's that. It's hard to be rid of the pain and anger that comes from when someone cheats on you. I had one boyfriend that did, and it felt horrible. But at the same time I really didn't want anything to do with them afterward.

  • It's OK to talk about common financial/family/money issues that are still outstanding (all need to be resolved for a total 'split').

    Other than that, since she is an 'ex' he should be focusing on you and not her. Put your foot down! If he doesn't stop then he is playing the field or too weak, immature or inexperienced to severe a relationship.

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  • If she cheated, nope. Out of my life for good. However, if it weren't for the cheating thing, you would be completely in the wrong to insist he stop talking to her because exes CAN just be friends.

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    • I never insisted he stop talking to her, but he knows it makes me a bit uncomfortable. I'm ok with them talking if I knew her intentions, but I don't.

  • I guess I can say I'm still friends with an ex that cheated on me. Why? Idk.

    I don't care if she's seeing other guys, it doesn't bother me one bit.

    But do I go out of my way to contact her? No, she is always the one to contact me first and I usually keep the conversation short and brief.

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    • Yeah that's the major difference is he still sends her IMs and e-mails every now and then, not just her sending him stuff.

  • If he truly cares for you he wouldn't put you into this position. Turn the tables and ask yourself would he be cool with it if you were talking to an ex? If it were some other gal that he dated in the past and they were friends before yall dated then maybe you give him some leeway. If my ex cheated on me END OF STORY! I would not be talking to her, period. If it makes you feel uncomfortable then he shouldnt want to continue to talk to her.

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  • Goodness your cute.

    And no, he should not be talking to his ex if he's with you. Plain and simple. I don't think he would like it, if you were talking to your ex's. Even if it is on "friendly" terms.

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    • Thank you. I'm pretty sure no one likes it when their significant other talks to their exes. Some people see it as being mature if you maintain a friendship with their exes. But I see it as not being able to let go of that person. *Shrug* I will just have to be patience I guess and see how it goes.

  • Hell no. For what reason ?

    Good Luck.

    - Harvey D

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    • No I shouldn't be worried? Or no he shouldn't be talking to her?

    • Show All
    • Very true, I don't talk to any of mine anymore. I find it awkward and weird. Plus if you're still talking to them for me it means I'm not completely over them.

    • Ya that's for sure.

  • I would if I was not in a relationship. In fact, I would try to work things out with my girlfriend before breaking up. Cheating is bad, but not bad enough to end a relationship, unless things could not be worked out.

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    • Yeah I mean cheating, depending on the circumstances of course, can be overcome. But it is a huge downfall of trust you know?

      Do you think it's considered cheating in a way if he's still talking to his ex when he's with me?

    • No, unless he spends too much time with her and neglects you.

  • For me, no. A girl I was dating was cheating on me, she never admitted it but I knew, I tried to be friends for awhile after but she wouldn't stop talking about this guy, it was like rubbing salt in the wound, so I said enough and quit talking to her.

    But under different circumstances, I might forgive a cheater and be just friends afterwards, but they would have to try really hard to earn my forgiveness.

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    • Yeah, I understand. It's not only that they cheated. Cheating means a lot of different things...they don't care about you like you thought, you can't trust them much anymore etc.

What Girls Said 1

  • cheated or not they were close once. why they cannot speak to each other?

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    • It's just that if you're still talking to an ex, even as friends, you still have that attraction more than likely to them. There's something that is keeping you from moving on. And sometimes it hinders the present relationship at hand if you are still talking to an ex.

    • Would you consider being attracted to someone the same as having feelings for that person?

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