First time break up, not sure how to handle it... Does she want me back? Is she just keeping me as a fallback? I am so confused?

I am going through some tough times at the moment. this my first hearbreak and break up. I can't get it through my mind... But the problem is how it's all gone down and I am not sure how to intepret what's going on.

So back story is me and this girl met online, she's 18 almost 19 and just started college whereas i just turned 20. We knew each other for over a year now, and had dated for 9 months.

It wasn't easy we were not as close as some but weren't super far. We would fight about seeing each other but we made out okay in the summer.

But everything has changed the last two weeks when she started school... Last week see calls me up saying she's changed. After all the talk of being there forever for each other, it takes a week for her at college to want to end it with me... She said she wants freedom... She is starting a new life.. And her new life apparently has no room for me.. Looks like my part is up...

Anyways.. it ended kind of bad last Friday, but then this Thursday she texted me saying she wanted to talk and didn't like how we ended... this was all over text, but I was completely broken down. I told her how much I needed her and all she would say is for me to move on and there's no room for me. She says she's always here for me blah... But it's not the same I know.

So last night she was drinking and was really drunk, and texted me hey and i responsed and then she said she wanted to talk on the phone... We did and it was hard, because I really need her back I feel. But she kept saying move on whatever. Don't wait for me... I've told her to enjoy her freedom, but yet she still calls

Then today she said she was sorry for texting me so drunk.. Then we texted a bit like we used to then all of a sudden she's like I gotta go.. So I said good talking to you text me any time.
I don't get it.. Why does she want to talk if she doesn't want me. Am I a back up? Why so soon if she says she wants me to forget about her?

Thank you


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ummmmm probably back up. She may also be trying to eat her cake.

    My advise tell her you don't want to be her friend. That you like her and it hurts to not be with her. Let her know if she changes her mind she may contact you. Then let her go. It's supper hard but you have to be assertive and don't give in. Trust me in a couple of months that heart won't hurt so bad and you may be on your way to a new relationship.

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    • She is trying to eat her cake... Like wth... We were each others firsts and now she all of a sudden she wants freedom to do stuff I don't approve of. Unless I am misinterpreting what eat her cake means lol. Yeah... I don't get why she wants to be... like she literally just broke up with me and is telling me to move on... Like are you for real? Contacting me could be the worse thing possible.

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    • Hit the books do well in school. Work in your career, be successful. In the meantime work on yourself. Get out of your comfort zone slowly. Get sociable, fun will follow. And when she comes back to check on you. You will seem to have all your stuff together and will be happy.

    • That's true.. I hope I can. I tried to make it seem like that to her kinda tbh when she texted me. Maybe to make her jealous I don't know lol.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmm she's playing with you and by your emotion I mean you need her but she tell you move on if she really want you to move on she won't call you or text you but she want you to make her feel that you can't live without her probably this will make her day better. Now I think it's wise to leave this girl if you want long happy relationship or relationship end with marriage. It's better to leave her unless you want her to make you angry and feel bad always up to you

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like something is up with her. If she got that drink something might be wrong. Just wait and see what happens. I hope everything works out.

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