Is it possible to fall in love even more with someone after the relationship has ended?

How is it possible that I think I'm even more in love with my ex now that we've been apart with no communication for six months? I had an eight month relationship with someone who gave the word "love" an actual meaning. He was this incredibly sweet and kind young man and I absolutely loved being his girlfriend. We broke up six months ago because I felt he got distant. But when I showed up at his apartment to break up with him, in tears I said I don't want to lose you, and he said "you're not losing me" which still makes me wonder why he would say that if he was hoping I'd get the hint about him wanting to end it.

How is it possible that I feel more in love with him now than even when we were together? What is going on? Please explain.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I just responded to your other question, but I'll respond to this one as well:

    It is possible to feel something for someone after being away from them for so long - it's usually called guilt and regret. You're probably kicking yourself in the butt for having taken the route of "if he's distant, I'll use us to bring him closer." - that's what this feels like to me that you did.

    I think you now realize that you were likely wrong. Women don't understand men and men don't understand women a lot of the time. Sometimes a woman will think her man is distant while the man is simply 'settling in' to being very comfortable in the relationship.

    This will happen with nearly every boyfriend/long-term partner you have from here on out. The key to getting things back where YOU need them is to communicate with him and to be honest about your needs.

    If you feel he's being distant, you wouldn't say "why are you distant?" You would ask other questions to rule out certain other things. It could be that he's just VERY comfortable in the relationship, or it very well could be that he's not 'there'. Sometimes men need a kick in the rear to realize we're being distant, but it's never a good idea to jump straight to breaking up with them if you still love them.

    What you're feeling is a normal reaction to doing something you knew was likely the wrong thing. But, these things happen. You'll find another man and you'll likely find one that makes you feel exactly like he did.

    And if he's not interested in you now, which very well might be the case, don't compare your other boyfriend's to this one, because no two of us will be the same. It's hard not to compare, but it's best that you simply base your others off of how they make you feel at the time rather than compared to your past loves.

    I hope this helps you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • yeah of course that's possible, even though the relationship may be no more. If you no longer see each other regularly, no more new fights running through your mind, it's very possible that you'll begin to focus on only the good times you two shared. Look back on the past and see it through rose-coloured glasses, in a sense. In which case I can see how you could fall more in love with him, even though it's more like the idea of him than him in reality.

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What Guys Said 3

  • It is more than possible. And is the cause of some horrible crimes of passion. Some couples just are not going to work out. And when one of the two will not accept this an obsession can develop.

    There is one woman from my past that I would take back in a heartbeat as I do care for her more today than ever. I also know this is never going to happen. Am glad we had our time to share. I learned from it and am a better person because of her. And I stopped asking why...

    This is why it is very important to end a relationship as friends. It didn't last. Both are going to see other people. And have sex with other people. Humans naturally do this. It is not easy. And it does hurt. And the only thing I know of that heals this is time.

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  • It isn't love its yearning

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  • I suppose, yes.

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