How to cope with the fact that my ex was lying about the reason for breakup?

After 3 years of being together, he dumped me out of the blue, never giving an explanation. I didn't know why but I know for fact that it wasn't someone else. Well I just wanted a reason and it took him months to open up and finally tell me why. He said it's because he doesn't want a relationship right now, that he can't commit and that he just wants to be single and party like crazy since his college just started (it started 3 months after the breakup). He said it's not me, that he is just fucked up in head. It was a decent conversation and I really felt relieved! I felt good again. Until just now when I heard that he is IN A RELATIONSHIP with someone else. For fuck sake, why lying? Now I'm not good anymore again.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Not sure this is going to help or going to add more pain to your cause, but here goes: I don't think your relationship with him could have been that good in the first place. Otherwise you would have been honest with each other and he would have told you BEFORE breakup how he felt about it and that it wasn't going in the direction he had hoped or whatever. I think communication and understanding each others feelings are about the most important things in a relationship and yours clearly lacked that. So just move on and hope to find someone better.

    • I was honest, but he wasn't. Screw him! I guess I just have to accept and live with the fact that I will never know the real reasons why I am not good enough for him...

Most Helpful Girl

  • he might just be having sex, not looking for romance.

    • Yeah that's what he said too but still... one thing leads to another, and before you notice, he is getting married!

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    • I'm not saying he is getting married but I mean when he DOES decide to settle down he's surely not gonna run back to me for it, isn't he? It's bound to happen eventually. He didn't dump me for her because he met her 3 months after we broke up and it's been few weeks now.

    • @TheGeorge I don't know but somehow it does to me. I am the kind of person who handles the truth very good. Once I know the truth, no matter how painful it is, I am free and I can move on better. I mean I asked him "Are you sure that you don't want ANY relationship? You can tell me, if it's that you do want but not with ME, then tell me so, it's okay". And he said "No, it's not that. I would be an idiot if I didn't want a relationship just with YOU, if I wanted it I wouldn't breakup with you because you absolutely amazing and I don't want to replace you. I just want to fuck around because I'm an asshole."

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Kinda similar thing happened to me.. I would move on too.

  • You said it took him months to open up... Anything can happen within that amount of time. He may not have initially broken up with you to be in a relationship but that doesn't mean he can't be in one months down the line. Duh


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