My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. I need to get some of my stuff, should I go or one of my friends?

About a week ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. It was pretty one sided and I felt completely crushed and devastated. I miss him so much, and he's coming past my house today to drop some of my stuff off. Recently, he has been talking to my best friend and saying that he's made a mistake and that he really misses me. I don't know if it's just because the breakup is fresh or if he really feels that way. I'm scared that I am expecting him to come over and tell me that he wants me back. I don't know if I want to go outside to get all of my stuff and risk being hurt if he doesn't say anything like that, or if I should avoid it completely so that I don't get hurt if he doesn't. I don't want him to think that I'm completely broken by this break up (even though I am) and I'm scared that if I don't go outside, he's going to think I'm really struggling, but I also don't want to break down in front of him. We haven't spoken much since the break up, but I miss him so much. What should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • go with one of your friends.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Send a friend... for sure. The friend doesn't have to explain why it is you aren't picking up the stuff, just let him or her go over and collect your stuff, period, and thank him for returning it. If they ask him how you're doing, instruct them to tell him, he is going to have to ask you himself if he wants to really know. Thus you maintain control of yourself, the situation, and your emotions and don't run the risk of being hurt. IF you truly and I do mean truly want this guy back, only you know that, but you broke up for a reason even if it was one sided. Give things at least a minute to cool down, so you can be by yourself to deal with stuff by yourself for a minute, and then if after you still need/want him in your life, then you can talk.

    • *correction, I meant, if he asks your friend how you're doing

    • Thank you for the advice. It was really helpful.

    • you're welcome, and good luck

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 4

  • ... He's coming past my house today to drop some of my stuff off.
    You Need to follow through on what you have heard and find out for your own heart and head's sake, what is going on next now.
    When two people Breakup, it may take some time to Makeup, should this be meant to happen. A lot can go on, from the time he leaves your things and for other 'Things' to transpire and your relationship could Just... Expire.
    Open lines of convo is one of the most important factors in any relationship, and if you don't have this, it will Go... Completely broken down.
    Face him down, talk it out and see if you both can come to some sort of compromise. You need t hear what he says so you will then know what is going on or what to expect next now that you both have had time to cool down and think.
    I see just a matter of a Misunderstanding, and if he is 'Talking to your best friend,' then he just may want his Own back again.
    Sometimes 'One side' with a 'Broke up with me' can be turned around to "We have decided." And I am talking about the good end of it.
    Good luck. xx

  • I would let a friend pick it up. You don't want to make it awkward and cry over him while he's giving you things. Do you know why he even broke up with you--I don't need to know--because it sounds like HE doesn't even know considering he said he may have made a mistake.

    Just give him space and you take some time to heal on your own as well as reflect on your relationship.

    • we don't agree often... but we do here.

    • Thank you for the fast response. The breakup happened because I've been struggling with depression this year after having to leave uni. I had chosen the wrong thing to study and it was too late to change over. I felt like a complete failure and really relied on his support during that time. Not long after, my grandfather, who I am really close with, got diagnosed with cancer and my father found out that he had a brain tumour. Everything seemed to be piling up and was getting more and more depressed. Then, out of nowhere, my boyfriend came over and told me that he really loved me and that it was really difficult for him to do, but he was breaking up with me. He said he had been unhappy for the last 6 months, which I had no idea about because he never told me anything like that. He said I lost my drive and spark, which I think is completely understandable since I had nothing to look forward to and everything seemed to be going wrong.

    • You're welcome. So I completely understand where you two are coming from. For him, that bright vibrant girl that he was with before dimmed due to all of the circumstances that were beyond your control. I do think it was selfish of him to bring this on you while you're dealing with everything else because this adds something ELSE on top of what was happening to you. I think he tried to deal with it as best as he could and he might have felt himself become dragged down into depression as well so he needed to break free.

      What I think he's feeling now is regret... because he knows what you're going through and he doesn't want something to happen to you. I just think he felt overwhelmed by what was going on... because it's not something that anyone can really fix.

      I'm not a therapist and I'm making a lot of assumptions, but I would suggest that you seek a therapist (there are plenty on campus or should be) to deal with your issues while you two take a small break.

  • After my boyfriend first broke up with me, i was destroyed. I cried for days and my heart never felt so heavy. Just the sound of his name drew me to tears. But after a while i did slowly get better and i hung out with my friends to created a distraction between my mind and my heart. If I couldn't think about it, then my heart maybe wouldn't feel the pain anymore. Whats worst was that he would text me sometimes to just casually text. after two weeks he called me and told me he missed me and made the worst mistake of his life. We are still together now and i believe we are quite happy. Im not saying that you two might get back together. But i am saying is that sometimes you just have to show them that you can still live your live with out them. go out and met him. see if you guys can just talk about the breakup. what went wrong? then afterwards agree to just be friends. Sorta restarted the whole thing over. and see if it can lead to something better between you to. but if it doesn't work out then I promise honey that you will fill better about yourself. Its going to hurt like hell at first but it does get better. whether you do get back together or not.

  • Go with one of your friends


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