Question is in the title. I don't really have anything more to add. I mean, I've seen people claim that they think their partner is with them only for the sex... but if you're not willing to have sex with your partner pretty much ever, and they left, and you claimed "they left because you wouldn't put out", would you actually believe that the ONLY reason why they ever wanted to be with you was for sexual gratification?
- YES, if they left because I was not willing to have sex with them often enough, then clearly the only reason why they were with me was for the sex, and nothing elseVote A
- NO, sex is only one of multiple reasons why they chose to be with me, but the general dissatisfaction caused them to break up instead.Vote B
- ACTUALLY, the sexual dissatisfaction and frustration on both sides is just an underlying symptom of a bigger problem with the relationship, the bad sex is an indicator of the relationship itself being unsatisfying and stressful; but not the direct cause itself.Vote C
- I DON'T KNOW, I've never been in a relationship where I didn't want to have sex with my partner because I felt it was a chore.Vote D
- OTHER, none of the upper answers describe what I think.Vote E
Most Helpful Girl
It would definitely cross my mind but I would like to think that sex was just a part of our relationship, but it was more important to them than it was to me. I would like to work it out with them though. I would not like it if they left me before even telling me they had an issue and we didn't ever try to rectify it. If they didn't let me work it out with them, I would assume they were using it as an excuse just to leave. I would prefer it if they gave me the honest reason though.1
Most Helpful Guy
"If you care about what others think of you, then you will forever be their prisoner."
- Lao Tzu.
Do you know how much effort it takes for me to say that I supposedly genuinely feel or think that, "If he did X, then it must mean Y"? As many kilojoules as it takes for my brain to go into emotional manipulation mode and move my lips and exhale air from my lungs.
Why is it emotionally manipulative? Because I'm "reframing" someone's behavior as something "negative." I'm trying to make them "feeling guilty or ashamed" for acting in a way that's contrary to what my interests are.
And, if my interests are to have them be in a relationship with me without me having sex with them (either because I don't like sex, I have issues with men and sex, I'm not that strongly sexually attracted to him, or I have a system of beliefs that emotionally gives me pleasure the longer a guy waits - for me - ideally until marriage), then I have plenty of incentive to try to "reframe" his behavior (the parts that don't cater to my interests) as "negative."
So, if your "litmus test" of whether your behavior is or is not something (or whether it's something "negative") is based on the opinions of someone else who has a direct and immediate interest in the way YOU BEHAVE (especially TOWARDS THEM), I'm not sure how valuable, objective, unbiased, or disinterested that opinion would be - or what information you're really getting about YOUR BEHAVIOR from THAT PERSON'S OPINION REGARDING YOUR BEHAVIOR.1