I need some advice. I dated this wonderful guy who was divorced with a few kids and he made me feel like the most special girl in the world. I met his mom, he talked about me meeting his kids, he just always went out of his way to show how much he cared. I thought this guy was my soulmate, I never had such a connection with someone. Then things fell off because he got full custody and didn't have any free time anymore. I've still talked to him and I asked him when things calm down if he wants to continue things again and he said he would like that. Every time I talk to him and see if he can squeeze and time in he tells me how he has stuff going on with the kids. And I believed this guy was an amazing, dedicated father who cared about his kids so much. I felt compassion for him, I thought what a situation to be in, a single dad with 3 kids, I could only imagine how stressful and overwhelming it was.
I just found out that it was all a lie. This whole time he "didnt have time to see me because of the kids" was really because he's been seeing a bunch of other women and going out of town with them. It sounds like he might have been seeing someone else when we were together too. I found out that he wasn't faithful to his wife, which he conveniently left out of his divorce story. I thought this man was the most amazing person I have ever met... and he's been using his kids to lie with this entire time.
I tried to confront him about what he did and it didn't even phase him. He sent a BS message and removed me from social media. He had so many opportunities to just be honest with me but instead he gave me false hope.
I'm just in such a state of shock that the only person I ever loved was a fraud. How do you deal with such a thing? I don't know how I will ever be able to trust someone again. How do you sort our the liars from the good people? Lying came so easily for this man. He was everything I ever wanted and didn't thin
What makes a person the way they are? Did they have some bad experience to make them the way they are? Whatever it is isn't an excuse for their irresponsible behavior, but it makes me feel sad for them in a way... that there was some catalyst in their life to make them a bad person.
Most Helpful Girl
It would appear that he's one of those people who are incredibly talented when it comes to treacherous trickery. Looks like he has mastered the art of deception. This is one of those times where you need to say "SHUT UP, HEART!" and start thinking with your brain. Stop supplying the dreamy feelings he sparked. Instead, in your mind strip him of his charm, physical gifts, smoothness, and hoax of memories so that you can clearly see him for what he is and how he touches this world. Take away all of the delightful surface knowledge you have and view him and take note of his incredibly flawed value system and all the character flaws that are going to keep him at low quality as a man and a human being. Then smile to yourself and thank the universe for creating his absence in your world. :) It is good for you in the long run. Any female he gives his attention to is at risk to have her psyche and heart severely harmed/her future troubled.
You just have to keep in mind that not every man is a narcissistic liar who pathetically feeds off of the attention of women like a homeless man settling for whatever he can find. Time will always reveal who the truly good people are vs the liars. It's also important to have thick skin and not be so fragile when someone reveals their true colors.2
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