Guys, Just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years and feeling very beaten up. Would you do me?

Updates:
Just looking for a confidence boost because I feel un-dateable at this point.
Maybe the better question is do you think I'm attractive.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Shitty. Break-ups can be emotionally devastating. The chemicals involved in the brain that form attachment can pose very big problems when ending a relationship, and can cause very real physical pain on top of all of the emotional crap that goes along with it.

    I don't just 'do' someone based on looks, nor do I just date them based on looks. If I can't have a good conversation with someone, I have no interest in them. It's just how my brain works. That being said, there is nothing about your physical appearance that would make me not want to take the chance to get to know you well enough to put sex or a relationship on the table. You're very attractive, according to a low res face-only image anyway. It would be hard to tell personality wise right now because you will be in a lot of pain and definitely not at your best, so it would be a little unfair to try and make those kinds of 'are you dateable' assumptions at this point.

    Part of it is that you shouldn't be needing to find this kind of validation from external sources. I mean, I get that you are hurting and feeling personally rejected, but you were not a good or bad person because of your previous relationship, and you are not going to be a good or bad person based on the opinions of a couple of strangers on your physical appearance. To be honest, you should be looking for a supportive shoulder right now, not a confidence boost. You want someone that will help you get through the emotional turmoil you are going through, and about to be going through, not just find someone who will bang you to make you forget for a few hours.

    Sorry you are going through this. Hope you find the support you need.

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    • This is very good advice. I am not a one night stand type of person anyway so that's not an issue. I guess what I was looking for was validation that I'm not as hideous as my ex made me feel inside.

    • It's totally understandable. Bad relationships can have devastating psychological effects on people. I just think it's important to try and find a positive path to getting out of that darkness. Won't always be easy, or clear, or possible, for that matter, but outlook and approach can have a huge impact on getting yourself back into the right mindset.

      I'm not really saying that a one night stand is the end of the world, I'm not going to judge people for that, some people find it helpful. Good, I suppose, that you are not, but my point was more about approach, and what you should be looking for to really help you in the long term. Who knows, a one night stand might be really helpful in the short term to just get over the fact that you are now a free agent, but long term, that's not what would be needed. You will need support.

      You are not as hideous as your ex made you feel. I don't even need to know any more about you to know that. Making you feel like that is emotional abuse :(

    • You are so right!

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What Guys Said 14

  • As the old song goes, breaking up is hard to do. Yes, your heart is broken. But the good news is that putting it back together doesn't have a thing to do with your ex — it's all about you.

    Your Most Important Relationship is the One With Yourself
    You can't change what you don't acknowledge. So get real about your situation: It's over! For whatever reason you broke with your ex. Until you understand and accept that, you won't be able to begin the healing process.

    Although it's nice to have a romantic relationship, it's not necessary. You can be a whole person without being half of a couple. The old saying is true: It's better to be healthy alone than sick with somebody else.

    If you're terrified of being alone, you probably suffer from low self-esteem. You need to get in touch with your authentic self — that is, the core of who you are. Until you truly know and like yourself, you won't find a healthy and compatible mate.

    Getting Through the Day
    Put things in perspective. Does it hurt? Yes. Will you miss certain things about your relationship? Sure. Is it the end of the world? Absolutely not! You'll get through this heartache. Just take it day by day.

    Stay in the game! If you decide to be miserable all the time, you're bound to miss out on good opportunities. Don't let a breakup cheat you out of living a full life.

    Have the urge to call your ex? Replace that urge with an alternate, incompatible behavior. Go out with some friends, rent a funny movie, whatever — just do something to keep yourself busy

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    • In time, it is absolutely vital to put the pain behind you and move forward with your life and love. Otherwise, you are giving away your power to the people who hurt you.

      Sometimes the relationship you need to rescue is the one with yourself. Moving past a breakup is about you, not your ex.

      Don't start thinking about being friends right away — if ever. You have to be your own friend first.

      Grief is a process to go through, not a destination in which to wallow. In a process, you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and each little step is part of your healing.

      Define your real intentions. Are you trying to move past the breakup, or are you hoping to get back with your ex? You won't move on until you've accepted that the relationship is over.

    • Life is not a success only journey, you are going to beat up along the way, but you must move forward, and be champion in your next endeavour. Getting hurt comes with territory with relationships, but you must ask yourself, are you strong and confident enough handle it. When you get into relationships, you can't go round playing the game of sweaty palms.

  • Sure, why not. Pretty blue eyes and a lovely smile. Never been with a natural blonde.

    Alas, I can't help more than this. I'm married and quite taken.

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    • Extra points go to you for realizing I'm a natural blonde!

  • yes, you are attractive and i like fair skin,,, but if i did do you and left right away that will even break your soul even more.. so just dont

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  • Why would you put your wounded heart out there to get stomped on again. I'm sure there are plenty of guys who would do you. . . . some guys will feck a rotting pumpkin. . . but what would that prove?

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  • Yes i would but you need to be able to move on with your life, 4 years isn't easy to turn your back on but pining on it makes it worse. Having a friend with benefits to share a orgasm with helps soften the blow as long as your not catching feelings or looking to rush into a relationship.

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    • Yeah, I could never have a no strings attached hookup. I'm definitely a relationship girl.

  • Yes you are very attractive so don't give up. You are very datable / doable. Very pretty with a lovely smile

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  • yes your defiantly cum shot worthy

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  • You are a very attractive woman, most men would beg borrow or steal to 'do you'

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    • Thank you so much! That makes me feel good. I'm a really hard worker and own several of my own businesses, one of them is house flipping so I feel like I'm a good catch but my ex made me feel lower than low. He's an alcoholic too which doesn't help :(

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    • How old were you when you realized that?

    • early 30's

  • Mommy? MOMMY, IS THAT YOU?

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  • this is always a rough one to deal with, dont rebound and ddont expect guys to "do" you

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  • Being honest and this is like a serious question. I wouldn't do you

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    • Why?

    • Why should I, I am drunk but not ridiculous. Like I don't need to go thirsty online. I am happy like damn I'm alive at home and nobody pisses me off

  • Yes, you are attractive.

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  • What do your boobs and butt look like? Then we'll discuss doing one another!

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    • Big boobs, small butt. I'm just referring to my avatar. My ex-boyfriend really let me have it and my confidence took a nose dive.

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    • I think I may have worded my question inappropriately and should have asked if you thought I was attractive but thank you for the confidence boost because I needed it :)

    • No worries, now go out and explore the world!

  • WTF exactly is your question?

    And no, I wouldn't "do" you. You're too fucked up to fuck. Sage advice: don't stick your dick in crazy.

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    • What did I do that's fucked up? Just curious?

    • ... asked a bunch of strangers if they'd fuck you while in a poor emotional state...

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