I am miserable! I don't know how to get over and move on from my ex?

Will try and keep it short. My ex split up with me at the end of May due to us being a different places in our lives and sometimes my behaviour was a little too wild for him. I was utterly heartbroken. Ever since we split we have been meeting up once or twice a week and having dinner or watching a film then having sex and he spends the night. We agreed to a friends with benefits type of relationship and if I'm honest I went along with that because I hoped there was a chance we could get back together. He always made it clear that would never happen but I still hoped.

Anyways in the four months this has been going on my feelings are just growing stronger and stronger. I'm so in love with him and he's just not in love with me anymore, it hurts. He's lovely when I'm around him, very affectionate but when I'm not he never texts me, he never calls, I don't think he even thinks about me. Last night I was out with friends and I called him as he was out to, in that conversation he said do you know what you sound like a jealous EX girlfriend because I'd asked him where he was. I just hung up.

I want to cut contact with this guy, I love him but I can't do this anymore, I can't really describe how I'm feeling on a day to day basis but it's not good. I'm sad, lonely and hurting all the time. I have an amazing life, an amazing daughter, amazing friends and family, I just can't shake him. I try to block him but then give in and undo it, I delete his number but I know it off by heart. It's a big problem when I'm drunk as it all just pours out in my texts to him and then I have to deal with the embarassment the next day. I desperatly want to get over this guy and get him out of my life but I don't know how, he's a habit now, it just feels like a habit.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He was your first.

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    • My first what? Relationship? No he wasn't but he was probably the biggest love so far in my life!

Most Helpful Girl

  • You simply gotta do it. Being friends is not gonna bring him back, especially not friends with benefits. I get you, I've been there too, and I know a lot of us did. It's basically like an addiction, a drug. You HAVE to ignore him. I don't think it's even THAT hard since you say that he doesn't call, doesn't text, doesn't do anything. That's what you need to do to, and that's the easy part. The hard part is gonna be when he realizes that you stopped, that you are cold and that you are not in the mood to hang out, then he is gonna start calling, wondering, texting, etc and THEN comes the hardest part by REJECTING him. It's easy ignoring when he doesn't initiate, hard is when he does. But trust me, when you do say NO, even though you gonna feel terrible at first, you're gonna feel sooo good a bit later knowing you did the right thing, that your word was last and that you are in control! Shake him off of you, he is a drug. It doesn't matter if it's for getting him back or for getting over him, you simply gotta do it. It's the only thing you got left without having anything lose basically, only to gain. Trust me, I've been there. My ex broke up with me 6 months ago and he insisted on being friends. I also gave in in hope he's gonna change his mind when he sees that I'm still there and I still love him, no matter what issues he's going through. BIG MISTAKE! I somehow managed not to initiate calls or anything, but every time he would I would gave in and then I would initiate and get a cold shoulder from him, making me feel like crap. I was just so fed up of that bullshit. He then told me he had sex with someone else and that was it for me. I couldn't look at him the same anymore. That was what triggered the "I don't want to know where you, with who you are, what you doing and when you're doing" because if I don't see him online I would automatically imagine him with her, or if he tells me he went on a party last weekend I would again imagine him with her or someone else, and I just couldn't do it. I wasn't interested in his life anymore. So I started ignoring him and giving him cold shoulder back. He still texts me from time to time, hell 2 days ago he sent me a drunk text how he misses me and how he is gonna kill himself (?) and blah blah. I ALMOST gave in that night, but I successfully ignored it. Since nobody knew where he was for 3 days I started worrying a little bit and I texted him if he is alive. He never responded. Fuck him and fuck your ex, seriously!

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Just cut him out of your life I know it is hard but he said he will never get back together with you. He is just using you and when he finds someone new he will stop talking to you. You need to stop contacting him and take care of yourself because you deserve someone who wants to be with you and loves you and never lets you go. Right now he has the upper hand because he knows you love him and will use it against you to get what he wants but you got to show him that you're a strong woman who can live without him and also do much better.

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    • Also, it will get better as long as you are not in contact with him, best of luck k 😊

  • Just ignore, ignore, ignore.

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