Should I even care about what my boyfriend did during our break up?

This past weekend, i found out through a drunken situation, in which my bf's brother's ex came over and started to cause trouble for everyone in the house at the time; she was yelling and calling everyone down, and even said to me "i'm so glad he cheated on you w/ one of my friends!" etc etc... So naturally i was upset and asked him what the F she was talking about, and he told me it was before we got back together. So during our break up i guess. But I don't know why it still bugs me...

Updates:
we were off (or broken up) for, I don't know, 6 to 8 months, when we started going out this past June...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Of course you shouldn't care and you already know that. You are letting a drunk cunt pick at your ego as though she were someone important to you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I could say, "he was single it shouldn't matter" which technically is true.
    However, had you known this before getting back together it could have altered that decision.
    So now, it's on you what to do..
    If you can look past it then it has to be dropped. No throwing it in his face, no freaking out every time you get insecure.
    If you can't look past it then let him go or your insecurities and loss In trust will spread in your relationship like a poison.
    Good luck.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • This will always be a on and off situation unless one of you decide to throw the towel in and separate from him , your aware of the hurt he does so gotta consider things about him ask yourself if you wanna continue taking the hurt he is giving you but I'm not judging you by all means just trying to help you with the hurt you can't get over and keep holding on to and that's your ex boyfriend.

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  • Your making this more complicated than it is. If that bothers you talk to him about it. If that still bothers you aftwerwards, move on.

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  • Ok so I've come to give you what nobody wise has: a thoughtful and non personally butthurt response.

    Who did the breaking up and how long were you broken up?

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  • Well technically yes you were broken up BUT if he respected you, loved you & wanted you back he shouldn't have done that

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  • Shit that happens during a breakup is exempt from judgement.

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  • How long were you guys broken up?

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What Girls Said 10

  • Wow he sounds like a nice reliable and trustworthy young man... NOT

    So... you guys broke up... and he went and did something with someone else? But it's okay cos you weren't together? No no no that is just bad news. If he had even an ounce of thought and respect for you that would not have happened. He doesn't care about you. You won't but you should just dump his ass. That is not okay. This is not going to end well. Can you deal with that? Knowing that he's being doing stuff with someone else and then comes back to you? Talk about second best.

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  • Answering only the title without reading the details, no. You broke up with him, and thus waived your rights to know anything about his free time or social habits.

    You do have a right to know why he was willing to get back together.

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  • Yeah I'd leave him again. For good this time.

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  • If you were broken up for that long there's a possibility he thought you weren't even getting back together. That's a long time I would understand being pissed at him if we went out and slept with some other girl the night after, or even worse the night you broke up. I think that you should try and talk it out with him because he obviously like you and not the girl he slept with or he would still be with her.

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  • If it was a 6-8 months, I think it's completely normal for him to have gotten with someone else.
    He didn't even need to inform you after you got back together, unless you had a conversation regarding the same. Now, if you guys did have a conversation about it and he kept this to himself, you've got a problem.

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  • I wouldn't care about what he did during the breakup but the fact he even slept with your friend is just kinda wrong and gross.

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  • Don't let his ex get to you. She was just trying to make you feel bad about yourself by lying and saying he cheated. You shouldn't be concerned because he was not your boyfriend when he was having sexual encounters with her. I personally think that people break up for a reason and if The relationship failed the first time then it most likely is going to fail again, it's just people don't want to be rude so they try to soften the blow. All I'm saying is actions speak louder than words

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  • My boyfriend and i (long distance) would break up. We're always on and off. And sometimes when we broke up id do things with other guys and just not tell him about it bc it's not his business. I eventually would tell him bc I'd feel bad (even though he's done things while we were together and while we werebt). I wouldn't even worry about it , honestly. Just accept it and move on and if you can't , leave.

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  • You should not. It was a choice he made during your break-up. Try to not let it affect you.

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  • You're not together. It doesn't matter what he does or doesn't do during that time

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