What's the best way to deal with memorabilia of an ex?

My boyfriend and I share a house. He has loads of photos of his ex as well as postcards, birthday cards etc from her in his cupboards and on his computer. I don't want him to lose memories of his past, and I recognize that he had a life and long term relationships before me that he wants to recall. However, I can't really explain why, but I feel a stab of pain whenever I run across this stuff accidentally. I feel stupid and immature that I do not handle it better. I know he's with me, and that the past relationships didn't work out, but whenever I come across a past valentine's card or birthday card, I can't help feeling sad and wondering whether his past girlfriends were prettier, or more fun than me.

What is the best way of handling this? Would it be alright to ask him to box them up and put them in the attic? Or is that unreasonable?


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • That is completely reasonable. You need to tell him exactly how you feel. Basically, what you just wrote here, say to him. They are his memories to keep. I still have tons of things from my ex(s). But they are all in a box put away or in hidden folders on my computer so future girlfriends won't inadvertently come across them. I know that sounds slightly shady, but it prevents just what you are going through. Just remember, he is the person he is today because of the experiences he has had in the past.

    • Thank you for your advice. I know that he has a past, and I respect that he doesn't want to wipe everything that happened before we met! I don't mind him keeping the stuff. I just don't want it to be a part of our 'active' life - I want them to stay memories, so we can enjoy the present for what it is, instead of living in the shadow of exes.

What Girls Said 1

  • No I do think that is unreasonable. You are asking him to store them away, not burn them. you and him are sharing a house, so the memories you make in that house, and the things displayed or laying around should be of the two of you. talk to him, explain in bothers you a little as it would bother any girlfriend. He should understand as I don't think he would want stuff of your ex's laying around the house.


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