Ex Behaving Badly... a bit long. Help please

Okay, so I have an ex (H), a gay best friend (L) and a current (S). I did try and make this short but I'm not very good at that...

- I got with H, we fell in love

- he fell out of love with me, he acted like he still loved me but complained to L behind my back that he wanted to get away from me

- he suggested breaking up and being friends but if I asked him to try again he'd agree (meanwhile telling other people we were just friends)

- he cheated on me, apparently as an excuse to break up with me, which he did over the phone and then hung up on me

- still heartbroken and usually drunk, I slept with 2 other guys and he got none, with the exception of one time he came to me and said he realized he still loved me and would give it another go, so still heartbroken and drunk, I slept with him... and he blew me off in the morning

- I realized it was a lost cause and got over it. We were friends for a while, though sometimes he started telling me how to live my life, like he had in the past. Mostly we got on fine, he encouraged me to date other guys, etc

- I got a date with S. H seemed happy for me so I was okay with telling him a little about it when he insisted on knowing. He seemed pretty genuine.

- S called for a second date. H asked me about it again but I sensed he was hiding something so I refused. He went and complained to L, just like I suspected.

- on the second date H texted me calling me a bitch and a 'f***ing whore' but later apologized saying it was just an outburst... I was still annoyed, and when he did it again in the same conversation, I cut all contact with him. Instant relief.

So. For the past couple months, I've been happily living my life without him, I've been feeling a lot happier and more positive about working and school without him bringing me down, things with S are going great, and I don't have to worry about H texting me when I'm with him. But he kept talking to L saying that we'd be fine if he just apologized, and I wasn't being serious about never talking to him again, which I find really disrespectful because he'd not thinking about what I want, and he's basically saying I'm flaky and emotional. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

He's been feeling depressed and him and one of his friends decided it was my fault. He kept trying to talk to me but I wanted to stand by my decision, and it did me well. But the other day, a group of us were at a cafe and he was there, I didn't talk to him as usual, but I went out for a cigarette and he followed me so I had no choice. We didn't talk much - he asked about my cat. Otherwise we COULDN'T talk much, because he'd get controlling again. What's the point?

I guess I'm wondering... why is he so intent on talking to me? It's been 3 months and all the while L keeps getting exasperated with him because he blames me for his depression, which I asked him about the other day and he denied. I don't get it. I want this over. What's up with him? What should I do?

  • It's his fault, and you should... [explain!]
    Vote A
  • It's about equal, and you should... [explain!]
    Vote B
  • It's your fault, and you should... [explain!]
    Vote C
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  • It's his fault.


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