Boyfriend makes almost no effort anymore in anything?

Maybe he was always like this, just putting on a show for me. Anyways lately I feel like he makes no effort at all for me or life in general. I used to go to sleep never doubting that he cared about me, now not so much. I told him I felt taken for granted and he freaked out that I was going to just leave him, yet he hasn't done anything after that initial worry to make sure I'm well taken care of by him. I love doing things for him and showing that I care, I only expect to feel valued and respected by him. One time I had to something that was traumatizing, I know he was sick, but he didn't even offer to be there for me. When I told him how hurt I felt, he told me he didn't know what I expected and I seemed to have that particular situation under control. I feel if you love a person or care about them, you don't need to be shown or told how to care for them. If he was hurting I wouldn't need him to tell me to be there for him because that is what you do for people you love. He has also let himself go (weight wise), I never said anything about it, he was the one to bring it up. He is very concerned about how much he has gained, but isn't doing anything to improve his lifestyle. He's the one who wants to look good for me. I'm not all that in shape and I want to look good for myself and my guy (whoever he may be), I forced myself to join a gym and I am slowly transitioning to going there several times a week. He is willing to spend time at the bar w/out me w/his friends, something he never did when we 1st started dating, he only started inviting me. Before that (except once) we never went together to the bar, until I told him I was upset about him going w/out me (now he does invite me there). He doesn't show how much he values me, if any and whenever I am hurt/upset he tells me that it means nothing and I'm just over analyzing. I feel like its becoming a one sided relationship, where I'm loving and caring and he isn't even bothered leaving me at home while he drinks w/friends.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like your super disappointed in him and from what you describe he doesn't sound like a person I'd want to be with if I was a girl. Girls want To feel loved and cared for and romanced, they also want to share an important role in a shared adventure and 3.) to be beautiful. I don't see that in this relationship based on what you're describing. He sounds lazy to me. I'd look for a strong man that has had some rough times because he'll understand what you need. Read the book every woman's marriage and also wild at heart - you'll get a better perspective of men too! :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • just leave him.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like your already married and need counseling but since your not you do have the option to leave, but maybe bring up counseling to him and see what he says, your obviously not happy because your not getting what you need out of the relationship anymore

    • Not married yet

    • Show All
    • Exactly why I am already questioning this relationship, we have talked about getting married, now I am beginning to doubt if I will ever be happy w/him. I know marriage doesn't make a bad relationship better, it makes things worse in the end.

    • See at least you realize it now, so it's time to make a choice and fix it or leave

  • If he doesn't care about you, then find someone who does, or if you have the courage, talk to him about it. Ask him if he's going to be there for you. Make sure he is, if not, then he truly doesn't care.
    Hope it works out.

    • I have asked him "what if" questions and he said he'll be there for me. Now I am starting to seriously doubt that because if he can't do simple things for me when the going gets tough he will prob disappear.

What Girls Said 0

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