And I mean the long term ones, where they broke your heart. I was with mine for almost 4 years and he broke up with me 7 months ago. He keeps saying it's nothing that I've done that he just doesn't want a comitment. He keeps trying to be in my life, he wants us as friends. I don't want that. Anyways, I don't hate him but I don't wish him well. He is now partying and getting drunk every weekend, having sex with sluts. He is now everything that I dislike in a person, a huge turn off. It makes me sad knowing that the old him is gone, such a potential to waste. He was amazing. I use to respect him and admire him, now I don't anymore. He did me so wrong, he treated me like a garbadge and it's partly my fault that I let him. He is not even aware of anything, he thinks he's a king. And now still keeping tabs on me and wanting desperately to be friends, makes me think even lower of him. I don't know, sometimes I feel like I'm a bad guy here because I see people talking nice things about their exes, because they made them happy at a time. What does it matter? Past is past, what matters is what they are now and how they make you feel now. My ex makes me feel stupid every time he pulls a stupid excuse to talk to me and I respond nicely because I'm a nice person. But most of the times I just want to tell him to fuck off and to send him like a huge middle finger sticker or something. I feel like he doesn't deserve me being nice to him. He IS nice to me, he always was, but I mean he dumped me, so what does he expect? He knows he fucked it up and wants me not to have hard feelings, but fuck it I do.
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I miss my ex a lot. I understood why he broke up with me. We had different goals and wants from the relationship and life. I'm okay with that. What I'm not okay with is remembering all of our good times. All the laughs, special dates, hugs... it just hurts so much remembering!!! I cried so badly over him yesterday and I've been strong today. I just feel empty now. I also need to remember that he's not the person he was when we started dating. He stopped trying and was being distant from me for a few weeks before the break up. I should have seen it coming. He asked me if we could keep in touch ( we both are writers) and discuss our stories. I told him yes because I do value his opinions on my writing. I'm going to miss the times we wrote together too :( it's been 3 days and we haven't spoken since the break up so I honestly have no idea if we actually will keep in touch. I think maybe speaking once a week, or even once a month will be okay. I don't expect him to want me back. I have no hopes for that. I just miss talking to him.0