How to get over a bad kisser and bad boyfriend?

Last year, I was feeling lonely so tried the online dating thing again. I met a guy, who was tall, attractive (mostly), very intelligent, and had a charming european accent. Swoon. However, I quickly learned that he was as immature as a 14 yr old boy. And that he kissed like a 14 year old boy (all tongue no lip) and this was beyond repair (trust me). The guy had no sensuality whatsover. He was very self-absorbed. Honestly, I think I was kind of traumatized by it. Most of all, I`m angry with myself for not dumping his ass sooner. We dated about 4 months, although I knew much earlier than that... I guess I was feeling lonely. and going out with someone just to shoot the shit and makeout with (even though it was pretty bad) was better than nothing.
Even though I`ll never put up with that again, I still feel scared to date... I don`t have much experience.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Are you seriously making him out to be this bad just because of his kissing technique?

    If you're calling him "immature" and "self-absorbed" just because of this, then you're very shallow, especially if you didn't even give him the chance to improve with your constructive criticism.

    Understand that not all of us have crazy adolescent lives and quite a few end up to be kissless virgins into their twenties (and even thirties).

    Get your head out of your ass and stop being so judgmental (unless the guy was immature and self-absorbed in other ways as well and you just didn't specify them).

    • I think you misread my question, although I might not have been clear enough. I said he was as immature as a 14 year old boy. AND he kissed like a 14 year old. In other words, not only did his character suck. He also had no sensuality whatsoever.

      The bottom line is that his character sucked so bad, that there was no point in trying to salvage his kissing.

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    • I think I know what you are saying... Like if he`s a good guy, just inexperienced. give him a chance. Yeah, for sure, but he`s not a good guy, he`s a jerk. I even spelled it out for him what I liked when kissing, his response was Why, it`s better this way (i. e., jamming his tongue down my throat every time) and then he went on to kiss me, completely disregarding what I said... That`s just wrong and inconsiderate. I think this was the flashing neon light that we had no chemistry. I felt nothing when we kissed.

    • Oh okay, now you've clarified it even better and now it all makes sense.

      I honestly don't have an answer to your original question. It's just going to come down to trying again when you feel ready. There's really no other way around grinding and trying over and over again. And realize that most guys shouldn't be this bad. I don't think most guys would be this bad, so don't worry about that. And if you do come across a guy like him, now that you've had that negative experience, you'll know to cut him out earlier.

What Girls Said 1

  • Don't be scared to date!! The best way to get over someone is to get with someone else! That one didn't go perfectly but not all of them do thats only natural. You will never meet the right guy if you shy away from dating again!


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