So my boyfriend and I were in a long distance relationship for 3.5 years. we met working together and in total were able to live together for about 1 with work and extended visits. When we first started dating, I thought that I would never consider putting our relationship into long distance once our contracts were up but after only a short week together, I had never felt like had for someone before him before, a feeling that we both shared. We had stated that the only reason we thought that it was even worth the hassle was the fact that we had pictured spending our our lives together. For the first 2.5 years, I was the one that had more flexibility with my work situation and was able to visit him for extended periods. While his job couldn't permit that. So starting in 2009, I finally found my self in a work situation that left me without the freedom to visit with him, resulting in us having to wait for him to get time off. I had always felt concerned about me not being able to visit and he always was patient and said "good things come to those who wait" and that it would work out for us. Unfortunately this left us with only seeing each other 3 weeks this year. After his last visit, I felt that he was so in love with me, just by the attention that he gave me and the looks and the touches and when he went back home he kept constantly asking when I was coming to see him. I wasn't working but financially I couldn't go just yet. I finally made a decision of when I was going to go and I was going to stay for about a month but I ended up getting a short term job I discussed it with him and I didn't want to take the job because I wanted to see him more but he told me that he would rather have me getting some more experience and it wasn't going to be that long and we see each other again. I took the job but decided that after it was finished I was going directly to see him. We had our rough times. it became more stressful the longer the time was between us seeing each other. This usually left me feeling depressed and lonely, which caused me to start pressuring him about putting an end to our distance and moving forward. Instead of having the desired result of putting a plan in motion, I feel that I pushed him further way with the pressure. 2weeks before the end of my job and going to visit him, he calls me one night started the decision like normal then came at me with the "I don't see this working out". He said that he felt we didn't have a relationship because we missed out on each others lives and important events and that our relationship was more of an annoyance to him than an enjoyment. He said that he loved me but couldn't picture ever asking me to marry but had at one time.I thought the talk could have waited until the visit but he no longer wanted me there he felt that if we fixed it we would be back to the same spot in a few months and he saw no end to the distance. He said he felt he was always hurting and no longer wants to talk
Most Helpful Girl
It is obvious you are not over him and you did not want this to end. But, he does. I think the final pressure for him to decide whether he wanted to take your relationship to the next level made him have to face reality and his reality was that he cannot go to the next level with you, so he ended it.
That he wants to end all contact is pretty normal. When he says it will make it hard to get over you, it's because though the breakup was right for him, it still isn't easy. Mainly seeing you will bring him a lot of guilt. If I can see that you cannot accept the break-up, so can he, and any contact with you will only remind him how unhappy you are. Though he is not in love with you in a way that would allow him to stay with you and marry, I have no doubt he does not want to see you in pain.0