Is the uncertainty the most difficult part after a breakup?

No matter if you want the person back, never want them again, confident they'll come back, not confident... Is the "wait" the hardest thing? Me personally.. I'm pretty confident my ex and I will reconcile on some type of level in the future... but it's just the wait... the wait is what kills me.. it hasn't even been a month since we've broken up yet, so it's probably too early to think about getting back together... but I feel like we have too strong of a connection to NOT get back together or be friends... but the uncertainty is killing me.. because I want to text her so bad.. but I know any texts that can be considered needy, clingy, etc can basically ruin any type of chances of ANYTHING


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm in the exact same situation. My boyfriend and I broke up and we agreed to stay in touch occasionally but so far.. nothing. I love him so much and it's killing me not having him in my life. Everything reminds me of him.. and it sucks horribly. I want to text him too but I don't want him to think I'm going to beg for him back or that i'm needy.

    If it's been close to a month I say shoot her a text after the one month mark. By then you may be feeling a little better and she may be wondering why you haven't reached out to her too.

    I'm waiting a few weeks to text my ex because hopefully by then I'm over him or close enough to it where it won't hurt me to talk to him.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't say that.
    My first breakup, the hardest part was the loss of her in my life as my partner. I seriously did not care if I lived or died. (Wasn't suicidal, just indifferent)

    Next breakup the hardest part was knowing I hurt her, when I didn't want to and I didn't even want to dump her. I just felt it was the right the to do.

    Next breakup the hardest part was honestly a hit to my pride. As shitty as the sounds. The way the whole thing went down I just felt disrespected.

    Never even thought about the uncertainty. I've always been the type to know I'll be ok and that whatever happens I'll figure it out

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What Girls Said 7

  • Its the uncertainty of being by yourself and no longer having that person in your life. For me I'm just wondering what my ex is up to. Thinking about the fact that he is flirting w/other women or already having sex w/them kills me inside. He knows I'm not one of those kind of people who goes and bangs someone on the rebound.

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  • Yes, uncertainty is hard, also because if you're expecting something to happen again it's even harder to give closure to it. I think in these cases is healthier to give closure and not to expect, so that if you get reunited again in the future, eithed as a couple or as friends, fine, but if you don't, at least you start moving on.

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  • You are so right. If she broke off, then you do need to not contact her. I did that too, and I'm back with my man but taking things with caution now.
    I definitely would not imagine being friends though, if he broke off again !

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  • Yeah, the wait does kill. It's been a while since my ex and I have broken up. And although I have accepted it a part of me really wants to talk to him again perhaps maybe just one more time for a closure because we kind of just "left" each other without saying goodbye.

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  • The loneliness is the worst.

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  • Text her if you miss her. If not , may be she moved on.

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  • I am right there with you word for word. I have the exact same feeling towards my ex but it's been such a short time since the breakup that even though I have my head sorted out, I know it's too early to act on it.
    I want him to see all the improvements I've made and how calm I am. I want him to see that I've changed and work to being friends, but I know that people don't get their affairs together as quickly as I do. I want to reach out to him and be friends (in order to maybe be more in the future) but I don't want to reach out first because I'll look needy and he won't even gain friendly interest. However, waiting and wondering if he'll text or call, when he will, how he will, if it's forced/out of guilt, if it's genuine, if he's out partying and his friends are patting him in the back, or if he's having a nagging feeling in his head about the way he ended it... It's all brutal.
    So I totally agree with you, the uncertainty is the absolute worst part.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Uncertainty in life is literally everywhere, but the moment its in your heart its sickening, especially after being so certain, but makes you re-evaluate things and see them for what they are, when you may not have before. So I guess its good in a way.

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  • The uncertainty and the void they leave. Those two things are unbearable in the early stages.

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  • I think the loneliness is a bit worse than the uncertainty.

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