My recent ex and I have a lot of mutual friends. Even though I was hurt (and am still) when he left me, I knew it would only hurt him/them more if I remained hurt and upset about it. When he left after saying he wanted to break up, he told me he would text me, well... Now tomorrow.
I was broken at the time and didn't think much about it because I was just relieved he would contact me, but now I just need some thoughts on what to do.
The situation is this:
1- the breakup wasn't brought on by a fight. It was rather out of the blue.
2- it was not mutual.
3- although I still want some time mostly to myself to continue self improvement,
I want him back.
The type of person he is is:
1. Energetic and social.
2. Not communicative about feelings. Probably won't want to talk about the breakup at all.
Obviously I have not seen him in the week or two after the breakup so my fears are this:
1- he texts out of guilt and grows to resent me because he has no actual interest in communicating yet. (In this case, how can I identify it? How should I react in order to give us both space without losing him totally?)
2- he doesn't text. (Terrifying but... At least I'll have time to figure out my feelings if he doesn't. My fear about this is identifying whether it was voluntary or he just forgot.)
3- He texts in general. (I don't know how I should respond in order to promote friendship. Even if we don't get back together, I still care deeply for him and hope I can be there for him in any capacity.)
1- has anyone been in this situation on either end? Texting an ex after a breakup or waiting for a text?
2- if you've texted your ex after a breakup, what did you talk about? How did it turn out?
3- Is there a way I can make it non threatening? My fear is that he'll resent me because it doesn't feel voluntary. I need to convey chill-ness to him. I think.
Most Helpful Guy
I read everything, but I may have missed it.. How long have you guys been broken up for?0
Most Helpful Girl
Ok so I am in the same situation but mine has evolve and this is what I did: do apply this.
My ex broke up with me: he needed time/space. Which left me confused because it does not mean anything CLEAR.
I told him nasty things. The next day, I sent him an email based on advice I found on internet. Basically I told him I accepted his decision and I would respect his need. I also told him it would also take time for mysekf to think. I sais also that he needed to understand that I was myself hurt but I accepted his need. I told him that during this time apart I would also remember the good time we had together ( and I wrote 2 things we did together).
I got a response but I did not reply. DONT REPLY
Than I went in no contact mode. he started sending stupid texts such as " hey how was the party las night"... and more seriour texts "hey I think of you" "I think of you constantly". I did reply to this last message and I kept it short "me too. But you asked for space/time to think".
Then he called and left a phone message "hey I wanted to know how you were doing blablabla"
From his tone of voice, I could tell he wasn't doing well either.
But still I did not reply. Then he sent me a text mess saying "I'll call you tommorow" - He did twice but I did not asnwer. He sent another mess the next day asking when he could call and I said "sorry went out with friends last night/ call around noon."
We talked - KEEP CONTACT TO A MINIMUM - not talking about all the problems over the phone BAD IDEA. and I said I would be out of town. He could call me the next week. And he did! He called Monday morning and ask me to come by after my work...
So we saw each other he said he had strong feelings for me, realized that not knowing anything about me had been a shock to him. We spend the night together NO SEX just cuddling.
But still I feel he has to fight for me so I'm continuing the no initiate contact rule. And I'm not at his disposal. He said "lets see each other once a week" I said "OK" but in reality im not OK so I'm going to continue my life and MEET NEW GUYS !
He wants us to see each other tomorrow but I'll tell him another day cause I got other plans (and I'm not at his disposal). YOU CHOSE WHEN AND WHERE.
Dont have sex yet! Or you'll end up a sex friend and it'll be worse
Dont talk hour over the phone if you dont want to and up in th friend zone
Men chase strong independent women!
Look up corey wayne coach - on youtube :)0