Has using the 'no-contact rule' ever worked for you?

Post-breakup, has purposely avoiding/ignoring your ex ever really gotten them back in the long run or at least sparked some interest again on their part?

What are your experiences with this, good and bad, if any?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not at all. Love of my life left me in August.. I was stupid and sent her a few emails in September/October basically pouring my heart out to her. I was ignored from my birthday in October through- thanksgiving, christmas, new years... all of it. It basically just made me mad.. I went through ths cycles- sad to mad to fine.. then a few days after new years, it hit me.. I had one day where I actually had to call out of work because I was that upset over her. So I say that no contact actually makes things worse. Women have much more endurance with regards to ignoring us. Unfortunately that makes things worse. :'(

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    • I'm sorry :( I have called out of work a few times as well over my ex-bf.

      I'm trying my best not to annoy him or make him resent me (he said he still wants to keep close and possibly date in the future but he is acting like a complete asshole to me). I'm not gonna lie, I totally stalk him via the internet or random drive-bys.

      I want to let him go for a while so he can get the chance to miss me. I'm just afraid he will forget...

    • He won't forget you if he cares...

      i feel "forgetable" right now from my ex. its normal to feel this way. you should look at my answer on the last question I answered. its pretty much the same idea... I chose no contact... but then realised it wasn't the right thing for us and our situation. so after 2 weeks I sent a text, which was a statement, not even a question and he answered. note: he was the one that set no contact first and said "you won't be hearing from me or seeing me for a while"

    • I read the last question.... I actually related to it a lot and found it very helpful! Thanks!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Nope, none of my ex have ever contacted me and (cross fingers I hope they don't). I've specifically told them to never contact me anymore. After that I erased them from my life and moved on. Kinda sucks because I really want to say what part of don't ever contact me again did you not understand? Anyhow, what makes you want to get back with your ex? In all my relationships I had to end it before I could see how damaging they were to me to my life.

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    • My ex is a good guy at heart but when he gets depressed or frustrated with life (such as now), he pushes people away the best he can. He goes to great lengths to be a jerk just to protect his own emotions. It's selfish of him but I want to let him have time to breathe without me about things however, I want him to realize what he lost. Therefore I am pondering initiating the whole no contact thing. In the end, I ultimately just want the best for the both of us, hopefully that will happen soon.

    • Show All
    • Everyone says he is stringing me along :( He promised me though that he won't see other girls and I know he isn't. I admitted to him that I had already hooked up with a guy I had been seeing before me and my boyfriend started dating. He got so p*ssed off and jealous. Maybe it was because he still has feelings or maybe it's because he doesn't want me to be happy or get over him quickly/easily.

      I'm too naive despite the front I put up in real life... ugh

    • You telling him that you hooked up with another guy just gives him reason or rationalization that he's free to do the same. If everyone is telling you that he is just stringing you along, and even me, a total random stranger is telling you that...it's probably true. He acted jealous because that's what anyone would do in the same situation. I wouldn't read too much into it.

  • I have had very bad experience with this. It did make them want me more again but, in the end, things just weren't the same. I'd say it made them go a little crazy and I feel pretty bad about it. It's been some time now but, I still think about it every now and then. I say a break is good but, still interact a little if even just a little.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I am actually going through that right now.

    Its working good.

    The no contact rule works two ways.

    either they comeback to you, and then also, if you don't contact him/her for awhile, you start to get over them.

    which is what is happening to me. either way, its a win win situation.

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  • I don't know, I think that pushes them away, actually. I broke up with my boyfriend about three weeks ago, and I deleted him from everything I could think of, and I never once called him during that time. He then messaged me on Monday saying how sorry he was and how he felt stupid and how he will always love me, and he basically spilled all of his feelings out. I thought about ignoring him, but then I thought that if I did, it just wouldn't feel right to me, so I replied to him the next day, and I'm so glad that I did, because we were able to talk things out, and now we're seeing each other again. If I ignored him, I probably might have regretted it, I think, and I'm pretty sure that things wouldn't have worked out the way it did. Sometimes, it's best to hear people out and at least give them a chance to speak their piece. I think doing that can help a lot in regards to getting back together, or at least in providing some closure.

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